details?

my laptop got broken... again
Dunno whether will be repairde, dunno whether will get my pictures back,
dunno how much time will i spend on making my work again
dunno on what i will be working cause basically there isnt any computer for me to work as well to study...
pissed off?
broken down?
nothing just thinking what can come next and how much stronger i should become

recruitment meeting

IS already 2 days out of 3 impressions- crazy
You prepare sth- idea, concept, external partners and then almost the whole day is in bulgarian, you cannot comment on that, give feedback etc- strange, but now bad. I made it consciously to contribute to growth, just some small frustration while understanding and feeling aa i would explain to u, or not understanding but seeing faces full of concerns and emotions...:/
Besides that I really enjoyed the short common dinner in Studentsky, with BG music, type of food, type of spending the evening
I felt so happy, so energetic, so enjoyinh, I will miss the place, I feel good tutururur:D

nice evening:]

wine
chinese food
gossips
lovely

problems

I wanted to mention some but actually what's the point- challanges are only here to contribute to our growth yes?
so lets move forward

summer in my heart, soul and around me

Especially for Dominique:P
Days are very busy- getting ready for recr meeting - my beloved conference, my baby my dream to give my passion, my feelings and knolwedge to EB members is apporaching, just after that EnterCEE is coming so work work work, especially that after IC I had some lazy, balanced weekends:-).
Nevertheless, although some interpersonal problems present I'm happy, sun is shining- it's around 30 degrees in Sofia which is amazing:-) I just feel like running, feel like achieving- yes!
I just wish I had wireless somewhere and could stay outside working instead of sitting in the office:/

falling in luv with myself:P

for those who forgot how i look like:P

on the edge or in between

I mentioned some time ago luxury versus lack of money.
The idea is getting bigger and bigger.\
My parents offered to buy me a flat in Warsaw they found a relativelly good offer.
That would mean having my place on the world, I was dreaming of it through 2 previous years of my studying in Warsaw- getting a flat, job, independence and happiness. But... some things are not the same anymore...
Why- cause Im abroad now, my life space is limitted to a room, without bath, without kitchen but its ok, I lik it.
I somehow relized I can take two totally different roads in my life... how come???
Both tempting but totally different...
1) Obvious one - getting good job, but I just dont want to have good job... there is much more after that- I want to be free, I want to work on my own, I want to contribute to change and if work hard to get what I want...
House, situated at the lake or another water- with the view over it, with my sauna, jacuzzi, gym and pool... table to pool but swimming would be also of advantage- water is not always warm yeah?
But the question is do I really need it?
do I really want ti?
Will I really use it?
And there is a second round - much more tempting me as a person not caring about the rest...
Doing what your heart tells you...
Doing sth that will bring others happiness, and me feeling I'm using my life as I should...

strange activity

Sometimes when I bored I put name and surname of ppl I know and google them.
I also did it for myself- results mainly connected with AIESEC, but also old results of my sailing competition- amazing days I'm missing now as hell, some maths competitions- where is know this math ability from previous years...
but I somehow realized how many information about me are in the network, I'm not anonymous and most probably not a person to run for parlament from all parties.
It was a little bit scarry for me:/
Radzio was stole his identity,,, no wonder come'n u just google a person and get everything needed to steal identity and apply for loan:/
how far are we from boarder... of etiquette, respect, trust, freedom...?

relations

just relfection crossing my mind
emotions and relations
hugging
kissing on cheeks, mouths what is the meaning behind, what is the cultural influence
sharing the bed
so its not aiesec
but its not poland either
but i miss
sleeping with all my teams
kissing with my teammates
hugs
showing ur emotions aaaaaaaaaa

Stand up for the champions!

Power of network
Power of friendship
Power of XP in another countries!
Independence to the maximum
sometime sturning into huge dependence
self-awareness
mind shif!
Feeling not sure about ur current path and role?
not sure about future?!
Take this risk and move urself- im sure i wont regret this year!
never!

becomming bigger and bigger freak

What brought my smile today in the morning- cockroach -
Yesterday while chatting with khamba i told him i meet one every second day...
So today was the second day, just killed it and smiled...
Maybe cause u need some constant things in ur life, maybe cause i just smashed it?
maybe
morning cockroach, morning death
ok but dont get too freak ya
going to the office

yesterday

I thought to change in bol I have broken heart than actually being in relation, but1st of all
i will not cal this relation.
Secondly, you just dont deserve it.

Latelly, I discovered that I have ner friends?
That I love people, but I cannt say I luv u!
So why there is a problem.
Dunno maybe cause feelngs are not controlled by brain but...
Those two I was not sure I can say I luv u- I can!
So J, B, A, I, L- not in touch but the same with J, W
K, M, B, on the way too? Isn't it even to many friends, ok mostly girls hehe but still
I dont think i need a new one...
Besides that, why to have another person to miss nex term?

SMASHED

.
.
.
.
.
.

:]

Bold means done it- idea copy pasted from Ira- sometimes good to steal inspiration from others:P

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar
40. Seen a total eclipse
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer.
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo - henna one;-)
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read – and understood – your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
134. …more than once?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them.
183. ..and .gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions.
188. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196: Dyed your hair
197: Been a DJ
198: Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal
199: Written your own role playing game
200: Been arrested

stupid loosers

200eur
50 eur per month till december
one extra flight home?
sth not anymore available to me.
As always after some break - stupid bitch... letting ppl get ur money, or even moeny of ur parents
ur credit card, ur isic, ur id, ur personality in terms of pictures
happy new year for stupid ppl
dont expect ur nice words, stupi ppl have what they deserved

pics

ass of looser:]

:-) bowling

silence

yeap- my life seems to be borring- now posts:/
or full of sophisticated reflections?
somehow it is!
We have been in touch for 5 days, or 6:/ still the point is I wonder when it will stop, what will be the outcome etc,
whatever
So weekend was not so borring as it may seem and not so busy- although its recruitment time im doing my best to keep work-life balance!
Days got a little bit colder what is a shock after turkey and today after work i will go to buyt heater- i have staying in home in too many clothes, especially when im still living alone:]
I had a guest - Vivien intenr from Varna- she used free days;-) to visit Sofia.
Unfortunatelly we worked and the weather was a little bit bullshit so almost no night life:]
Still on Friday we went to the cinema- finally born ultimatum was seen- liked it:D
but im not the best person for watching movies- i foret the plot, heroes etc...
On Saturdya she went to Vitsuha and I wanted to be housewife and do some cleaning, I didnt manage to do all, cause due to badluck- yeah unfortunatelly Sofia was not really nice for Vivien, she came back earlier, so we walked around studentky- I have never seen so many places closed before which was also strange:/
But we went bowling- im awaful in it but...it was nice, not so expensive place and with nice cheap drinks- so the outcome was good for me i discovered nice place to spend some time with some ppl:]
Sunday- totally laziness, drying and ironing clotes, reading newspapers, solving sudoku:]
and now is a new week

luxury

Seductive- of course
bath, private gym, sauna, jacuzzi, nice holiday
but is it the most important in life?
do i want it now?
do i want it ever?
border between my and ur life is not so visible...?
so easy to choose easy way...
too easy for me.
One life, one meaning, one happiness,
If I'm to regret I want to regret doing sth not not trying
happy ur happy life
its not for me!

mood for today

Thanks to Qspit (not the mood but song:P)

I love you

what is the meaning of these worlds?
How does it feel when its spoken by somebody who so many times rejected these words from you?
How many people love me?
How many people do I love?
I can say it honestly to my family and my 4 female friends
I think I can say it to two more, but about that I'm still not so sure.
Sometimes which is bad I say it spontaneously to some people, when I'm happy and grateful- bad for meaning of the words, or maybe u can love sb in that specific moment?
I do not love any man in this moment - at least I don't feel I can honeslty say to any of my male friends I love you, which somehow is healthy isn't it?
Ok somehow 3 are very close to me, but messing with big words?
But yesterday sb messed with these words with me.
Yes it was Nicky, I would love to know what does it mean for him, cause I'm smashed.
Dunno why- smashed of the words, or smashd with the statements answering my I love you, 1-2 years ago I dont love you, I cannot love you...
so never say never?
god damn

memories

sex in da city

my life is getting more into that
for those who know, you know
who didnt hm...:P

more pictures

sightseeing



















wind and water- my beloved!















MC TMs export-import:-)















BG and PAI

you know ur back to bulgaria from turkey when...

u chat with ur friends on msn, skype, etc not personally
u understand what's written around u and much more what people say, still ur not able to answer
u feel autumn is coming
u miss sea:(
u miss lots of @cers at the streets
before going to bathroom, opening wardrobe etc u check whether there are any cockroaches on ur road
u can eat pizza with ayran
u need to carry ur baggage on ur own- no more males willing to do that only because ur blonde
u spend the whole day in front of ur laptop
and some more
so welcome back home

money

Believe me or not money is issue for majority of international mc members!Eventhough I spent a little bit too much money in Turkey I was all the time counting whether I will be able to survive till december & really including all the possibilities that will support my budget as entercee conference itsefl and participation of polish people. Somehow i managed to buy myself squids which was such a bourgeoisie that Sandra took picture of me;-)

But coming back to money and also after reading post by Sveta about giving money to the poorer, eventhought u need constant support too;-) and thoughts about myself- so many times I share my food with people and animals as well as give others things I dont need. With money since some time I dont like giving for nothing- I prefere all these entrepreneurial people who at least try to wiegh u or sth;-)but just before entering the bus to BG i saw this woman - I was having sth as half eur so i just shared with her- ok i plan to come to turkey in april but... whats the point of keeping thisng u will not need in the foreseeable future? not only money?
hugs

Friendships

I think I have found friends at this IC- still process of making friends and having real friends is long and limitted in terms of numbers but I think I found them. This also reminded me how important it is to be open for new people, not to get stuck wih old relations &!!! avoid first sight prejudiuces

More thoughts

At closing plenary some people were missing. They were already home. Some of them close ot me, some I didn't manage to say good bye. But imagine the strange feeling when you read SMS from a person you saw just 10 hours ago, person you weere connected to, now being home, when you are at the closing plenary with 400 some people. Believe me strange feeling & eXperience.
Another one--> what happened with sharing is carrying motto?
Some people keep on bloggin luckily, but live.myaiesec.net was more failure than success this year in terms of connecting people. Sharing on the sessions was no so present either & generally during IC we talked - yeah, but mainly on cooperation and subsystems. Of course I understand that its needed and its one of important parts of IC but why we spent so little time discussing cultures, countries, life?
Why future global leaders were cut out from the world for 2 weeks and majority of us didnt know what's happening around the world???:/

Personal thoughts

As for such crazy person of course I'm starting upside down, so from the end;-)
I cam at the bus station much too early and as in good old times i used internet to kill this time;-)Short chat with Wolaczek who was aready home in Morocco clearly indicated the world is a round place... the place that seems to be an end may be only the beginning. Then I needed a toilet, sorry for sharing;-) but there is a point behind that. So when I finally found one, opened the door a big insect run away from it. Tony made funny face and my first thought was- almost as in Bulgarian home, 2nd one welcome to my beloved destintations India, China, Africa. Yeah new destination popped out or maybe i just switched myself from Brazil for the sake of Brazil into sth that has the meaning.
Why ?
I want to be in the place that really needs leadership now. In a place that needs change and its crucial for development of the world. In a place that (irony) needs its own leadership, not imported ppl all the time. How will I mange that?
Still dunno. Half of term in school still waits for me. Also my family, my precious treasure that I owe sth to will have troubles with accepting such decision;/
We will see.Now it's safe bet I will go to Africa. Question is where, when and in what role.

3 bets movies of IC

yu can call it brainwash

you can call it faci/mani-pulation

But htese movies had impact on me during IC

enjoy:

LN Day


Generation of achievers


one AIESEC

my beloved song lately

click to hear and to listen - this high is Africa now I think

my song


... crazy head...

Turkish/ IC impressions

So u saw few pictures, of course in the following days I will upload more.
Now I'm sitting in the hostel, waiting for Sandra to explore the town for the last time.
Wolaczek left in the morning, and we didnt manage to meet Ewa. Life! We will stay in virtual touch, thinking of opportunity to reunion or in the worse case meeting again in 2 or 3 years when we are back in Poland!
Crazy isnt it?
Wondering what contributes to making such strong relations between us.
Is the international experience enough to bond so well?
Or maybe its because people who decided to go for international MC have sth in common?
Passion for exploring, willingness to have impact, open mind?
Risk-takers?
Probably, but still I'm amazed with relations I built in AIESEC
1) with emigration - Maciek, Sandra, Kubczyk, Anula, Wolak, Ewa (before I only chatted with Kuba and Wolak and even that not on regular basis and here on IC- lots of fun with all of them, challenging conversation, seeking for improvements, inspiration- all the time!
Emigracja zawsze razem (yeap I strongly believe we will be 2gether this year:-)
Thank you guys for this IC.
When it comes to people there are some more that made this IC great
1) Serap- meeting again ur beloved CC- now me in role of stupid delegates eh--> good starting points for some thoughts about human behaviours, group roles, responsibility.
Hope to see her at my place in Bulgaria
2) Karina- also 3rd conference together- starting from me being OCVP and her newies, now Im mcvp abroad and she is mcp- impressive fast track and development, made me think about my role in AIESEC, my path as well as flexibility of rigid structures of many many AIESEC countries
rigid structures are connected with rigid thinking if you know what i mean;-)
I had a lots of meaningful conversations at this IC
And I realy felt and feel the way we do AIESEC way currently in lots of countries is not the best one.
My thoughts on that:
1)DEveloping issues in network:
Entrepreneurship and CR? strange that we need to focus so much on that if these are change agents characteristics isnt it?
2)Underperforming countries- amount of X, conferences etc is like division of the wealth among countries, without few driving countries AIESEC would lose a lot from its impact.
What is the relevance of AIESEC in many countries / LCs then?
3) getting behind instead of being ahead- once again issues- where is tourism, energy, ecology, things connected with aging population, increasing differences between north and south- seem to miss, only one IT--> taking into consideration time devoted to it, new IS system also a little bit let's say not enough:/
4) being a change- agent--> Im not proud of my behaviour in all situations of IC, definitelly I didnt act as change agent and leader of the future for all the time, but there were people who didnt do it almost at all- behaving as animals i mentioned before:(
So what is the brand we as AIESEC members create?
5) Brand is it ok to work with companies producing alcohol? is it ok to use them for recruitment...?
6) others - will come in another post:P

Grand Bazar

before entering this crazy place

sightseeing

sweet














me & water- ideal combination





















in front of blue mosque with Wolaczek

update

really wanted to make it
but...
Firstly decided to make update of myself- nad lost to much time reading others' blogs and now its time to go sightseeing.
But daily routine is coming- u read blogs instead of chatting with these people at breakfast- ic is over...

pics

under my umbrella














with discovery of the conference - a person to miss














official dinner- emigration always together














two generations of trully bulgarian tms:D














global CEEtizen

some pics

breakfast plate















nicer plate;-)















enjoying our meal:D

Turkey

I'm still here, trying to take most out of this culture, country, people and aiesec. that's why im not writing much and majority of pictures, stories etc will come soon!