on the edge or in between

I mentioned some time ago luxury versus lack of money.
The idea is getting bigger and bigger.\
My parents offered to buy me a flat in Warsaw they found a relativelly good offer.
That would mean having my place on the world, I was dreaming of it through 2 previous years of my studying in Warsaw- getting a flat, job, independence and happiness. But... some things are not the same anymore...
Why- cause Im abroad now, my life space is limitted to a room, without bath, without kitchen but its ok, I lik it.
I somehow relized I can take two totally different roads in my life... how come???
Both tempting but totally different...
1) Obvious one - getting good job, but I just dont want to have good job... there is much more after that- I want to be free, I want to work on my own, I want to contribute to change and if work hard to get what I want...
House, situated at the lake or another water- with the view over it, with my sauna, jacuzzi, gym and pool... table to pool but swimming would be also of advantage- water is not always warm yeah?
But the question is do I really need it?
do I really want ti?
Will I really use it?
And there is a second round - much more tempting me as a person not caring about the rest...
Doing what your heart tells you...
Doing sth that will bring others happiness, and me feeling I'm using my life as I should...