why do I or we read books

hm strage question isnt it?
so why?
me?
answer is maybe even stranger than the question itself
cause i understnad myself better
give my brian opportunity to refelec and develop
in the same time i rest
rest from crazu rush world
world around me full of artifical gadgets and random quick thoughts, beahviours, impulses

cultural sensivity

Today I also met with my grandparents.
Computer lesson was short, my patience hm i think better, trainer and facilitator experience is useful;-)
Nevertheless later on I have learning cirlce of my life;-).
Actually it started yesterday with chat about marriages, divorces singles and continued today with talks about friendship and savings.
Together with my today's activites it was a big kick to thinking.
What does responsibility means?
Making things for sb - where is border between helping and doing istead of sb.
With new opporutinities come new responsibilities...how to divide them?
What is motivation about.
Should we, can we motivate others to achieve sth?
If achieving our goal desires it should we motivate others or change the goal cause it is not important and attractive enough to self motivate.
What does tolerant mean- giving people right to decide about their lives but...
what if this behavaiour harms feelings of other people?
who is responsible for it then?
How can we assess others' responsibility?
where is border between doing things and doing things right?
Being responsible means fulfilling your obliagtions or doing your best to fulfill them?
hm
will be gratefule for any suggestions what is the answer...
:/

...

"I was on the way before, but I must have been wearing sunglasses, and ear plugs and a clip on my nose. A woolly hat and many layers of clothes. I think I have been cracked open to a larger world. Somehow I have managed to step outside of the invisible shell that used to hold me, and that I never even knew existed…"

hm wondering on which stage I am

challenging myself

the rest of the year
focusing on future
personal vision building
shaping myself
finding strenghts and weaknesses
one of them:
- impatience
Starting to work on it right now.
Teaching my grandmother- 70 in 2 motnhs how to use PC.
How to use internet.
How to use mails.
How to use GG.
Amazing!!!
For both of us.
Her willing to change, to communicate with me with family.
Me- trying to explain obvious things.
Yes being patient, not screaming not saying obvious about really really obvious for me things.
And you know what?
Tomorrow I will meet with her, too.
Wondering who benefits more - my grandma of me?
:*

weekend in poznan

Little john & melonik:-)

I really started students' life. thursday Alumni Eve & softs evening - washing my hair in school!

Is it me so crazy or my life makes me beahve like this:>?

Eve even worth going. Soft nights God I thought Im spoiled and I like parties?:/

I think I got older or I dunno, but I prefer to have wine, nice music or book comfortable room and stay there instead of going to a smoky place etc.

Friday- LC Christmas Eve

I didnt manage to cook with any of projects am I the only ROnP bothered by this?

And Eve- you always realize new things about people.

I think it is impossible or really rare to get to know sb really good.

Talk with them once again I realize we too oten lack cooperation between us in AIESEC - sad especially in students, team working oriented organization:(

I didn't eat anything neither enjoyed so much the whole atmosphere but I enjoyed every single piece of wishes I received and was able to give.

Thank You!

Due to my overall bad condition I didnt enjoy the party so much but still it was great to see LTT creating such a strong team.

At least this can be achievment of this term for you I hope?

Regarding feedback some thoughts about LC, but also about people. And about feedback of course - it can be such a precious gift or it can be a really dangerous weapon

but coming back to time in Poznan and our heroes melonik & jan;-)

Quoting words of Just vel Melonik- its amazing that you can not see people for such a long time and you can still love them so much!

I spent amazing time with pyska- really didnt sleep so well for ages;-)

Almost form the beginning of sutied noone took so much care of me! Meals sandwiches for train welcome party almost;-)

lazy time

sleeping

eating

fairy tales

talks

Finally getting to know tomasz! Ok Lachon grats good choice!

sometimes ur right;-)

We visited RW party, too.

I saw Pysia happy and it was ql. So @ has positive impact on people;-) we spent a little too long there but still it was amazing time. Sunday as lazy as never before, eating sleeping and watching fairy tales:-)

and then going back :(

update

Xmas- for me me and my mind map
lots of things to do decisions to make
but still im quiet efficient
as a gift for this im updating myself with blogs
Asia, Mac, Bassion
people around 20 and so many thought so many places
isnt the world a great place?
and me- new offer CEED in Tunisia during winter holiday
ppl what do u think about this
on one side my lc and another adventure...
need advice
and new mc application are open
started to make backup plan what if not bg- answer start to fill in application for jordan why not?
actually it was my dream since i saw this post about recruitment ceed so?
going back to blogs and then cleaning
hugs

2006

So this Xmas and what have u done? One year of my life. Actually I can describe this as one year within EB. New people around me, new responsibilities, new skills, new attitudes but still some of the paradigms and fears didnt change.
Hm probably time for NY resolution is NY but is always postponing them or keeping only for January do what about starting today and keeping them starting from today:
stay in touch with people I care
be fit
be healthy
be brave and bold when needed
develop myself
improve my interpersonal & communication skills
keep my room and flat in order
get avarage around4,0 or higher
get professional experience
challange myself
positively impact my environment
improve my knowledge of foreing languages all four!
drive car
get sailors' licence
Dunno is it much or not, but i will strive for them;-)
But coming back to this year
Jan- Feb
exams & CEEMOS hard to combine, typical attitude for me- lack of final happiness just seeing place to improvements:/, being lost before applying for EB, mixed feelings towards EB team, totally abandoned private life
March- elections, TTT in Slovakia- completely different me
April, May- forst EB decisions to be frank most of them too rush without sufficient knowledge and experience & open attitude, first statutoey conferences - to be frank dissapointed- people not as open as I thought not so passionate, not as motivated, Also first thoughts about personal responsibility, about putting blame on sb's else instead of taking up new responsibility
June- actually the first big failure in my life? Notpassing entrance exams on psychology,family problems, last week with EB, team meeting, office cleaning, moving from flat, looking for new one.
July, August functional meeting, hometime, homework, Ilawa, memories, wasitng time, CEED in Maceodnia, new- old people, hard lessons, random and not thoughts, - getting back mobile, night at the airport with by from Lebanon
OCP of YC! crazy time
September - first big crisises, Adapciak, Atuco, exams, first broke downs, arguments, problem attitude,
October- recruitment, defending decisions, change management, communication, enterCEE,
teras, laugh, happiness, disappointment,
November- failure after failure, revising myself, my plans, relying on destiny? DecNatCo- vision, mission, surprise iwth people, politics, engagement, passion, sacrifition, election, self awareness
December- time to get myself back in one piece,m looking into myself as deeply as possible, shaping & creating myself for the next year,for longer, building personal vision, veryfying my network
X mas
Such a long period of my life, so many things have happened and what happened around the world then?
click her to find out;-)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16094272/

going home for Xmas

Sitting in the train going to Ilawa i just started to think where my home is
Is it in Ilawa?
Is it in Warsaw?
or maybe it is somewhere i dunno yet but i will realize soon maybe this year?
:*

internet generation

me and my laptop it is one entity
but its not only me ...
Ola the first thing to be done in the morning to be done after coming back home turning on her laptop and internet of course
life after eb- its so empty when u do not have all these emails to read...
2-3 or even more hours daily free just for u
life after @ woow 5 hours more? without all these mails from ur team from @ net
are u ready for this or will u need therapy?

hm or maybe its not so necessary...
I just went down to canteen for breakfas 27 students
6 laptops and people gathered all around only few having simple chat
the rest ... deep in virtual world
so ql to chat with people so far away
so ql to read and gather info about all these places so far away...
but where is real life

maybe it behind of the screen

behind mine now is a white wall but what is more often?

:*

Recenlty I started to reflect more on my past experience on EB experience, @ experience in general and furute path.
Maybe its Xmas or maybe its me
But I have a lots of talks I will share here during this time :-).
I dunno better or worse but Im completely different person than in March
and this is amazing:-)
and amazing are all these people who are so close to my heart now
who can inspire me and who can teach me a lot
:*

And yesterday time with Klimeczek just make me realize this even more how misleading the first impressions can be and what a big mistake u can make not opening urself to people!!!

Klimeczek super supporter or enabler;-)

*

time till Christmas is on one hand not so busy on second really crazy!

Last evening - Magda M;-) for me it was the coolest ending possible.

All this women knowing the end of the series since few months:-)

waiting to see this THIS famous wedding and there was no wedding at all:-)

Got u people;-)

So simple but so ql to make fools of people.

U think, u r so sure u know sth...!

but its damm not true! u know nothing!

And it is not knwoledge what make u act.

Is it knowledge u need to perform in the best possible way for u.

Its ur emotions, ur intuition, ur opennes to cooperation with environment

ur passion and motivation sth so hard to change!

lesbian week

hehe Im lesbian:P
and not only me:P
ok but I wonder how is it that girsl can kiss, hug touch and this is so much more normal and accepted?
i do not care
but Im going to Poznan this weekend to my 2 best grilfriends !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
to these 2 people I can say I love them without any doubts
So this weekend I will spend with my beloved Laska & Pysia!!!
Cannot wait!!!

epic 2014

http://www.robinsloan.com/epic/

end for today hope this together with quotation from winnie the pooh are sth more not only for me
or maybe u shouldnt be so naive and idealistic?
dream my little dream of... me:]

:]

"Thank you, Christopher Robin. You're the only one who seems to understand about tails. They don't think -- that'swhat's the matter with some of these others. They've noimagination. A tail isn't a tail to them, it's just a LittleBit Extra at the back."

:-)

"I wish I could jump like that," he thought. "Some canand some can't. That's how it is."

small simple things

"Not mine," said Eeyore proudly.
"Look, Piglet!" And asPiglet looked sorrowfully round, Eeyore picked the balloon upwith his teeth, and placed it carefully in the pot;
picked it out and put it on the ground;
and then picked it up again andput it carefully back.
"So it does!" said Pooh.
"It goes in!"
"So it does!" said Piglet.
"And it comes out!"
"Doesn't it?" said Eeyore.
"It goes in and out likeanything."
"I'm very glad," said Pooh happily, "that I thought of giving you a Useful Pot to put things in."
"I'm very glad," said Piglet happily, "that thought of giving you something to put in a Useful Pot."
But Eeyore wasn't listening. He was taking the balloonout, and putting it back again, as happy as could be....

winnie the pooh

Do you know I actually didnt discover this book for my own... it was only this story about yellow bear. Then I switch to covey and the like, but thx to coinciden I cam back to this book yesterday. It is so ql!:-) http://www.winnie-the-pooh.ru/ you can just read it with me :P
to find simply answer how to hunt an elephant
Where should they dig the Very Deep Pit? Piglet said that the best place would be somewherewhere a Heffalump was, just before he fell into it, only abouta foot farther on.
So simple...
Then I had this funny talk with Betty how @ers would do this
probably digging 10 pits just in case
finding enablers and supporters to dig it or maybe even persuading heffalump that thx to falling into pit he will develop himself, become agent of positive change and have positive impact on society
we tend to make things so complicated sometimes:/
... the best tool wont replace aim!!! we firslty need to have this great aim, clear vision so that we can improve our tools and achieve it.
with the greates tools u can do lots of harm!!! so obvious...
:*

EB life crazy week

Yeah actually we had sth like this:-). In general this was quiet strange week, I think maybe more students' one;-). I came to Warsaw on Monday- like during old times. It was 13th but quiet a good day. Feedback night cleared atmoshpere, still individual talks is sth we need. Actually feedback may be the best thing you give to another person and receive if only u know how to use it. But sometimes ur inneb barrier stop u from using it. Right now I was thinking about it and used 360 tool but there were only few people open towards it:/
I wonder is it johari window a tool to this or fun
http://kevan.org/johari?name=sibula
I think people are really willing to get to know others opinion as long as its not binding and they do not need to do anything about this...?
For me its also damm hard but still its much easier to improve urself when u get some tips from others
Coming back to this week on thursday I didn't go to school. Simply needed lazy time for myself. Sometimes I miss balance in my life. Then when I to do sth else than I was supposed to do this means I neglected sth and in my busy daily plan I will have to find time to make up for this. I will have to give up other thing :( I wonder is it me? or my life style, or life style around me? or @? Nevertheless, Thur & Fri were actually free. On free we went together with Ola to Factory Ursus. Actually sizes of clothes in Reserved were big surprise, so many ql stuff but only big. Thx to Ola we visited Mango yeah. I need to visit this place more often or get day off only to walk around.
GA- we need ot be better prepared, but it was great to have to answer all these questions. Finally people got involved in LC life. Party was a great surprise, Krasnal came to Warsaw!:-). Although I didn't talk too much with her- mostly with my beloved kids. Girls u are great, hope u will stay here in @ for longer.
Actually the time to think about future in the LC,2. I wonder what future brings. Situation right now seems to be more complicated that it was last year, or maybe just perspective is different.
Trying one more time to come back to the topic.
Party was a little bit 2 hard. Kamikaze in Stodola is definitely to cheap. Not to mention that everytime Im there I fell down:/ I just joined afterparty by Asia and continue this crazy time till Sunday? I didn't know was it sill after party or before:] Maybe real students' life. Better later than not at all. Day without laptop, day without work... what a feeling!:-) I can survive without internet & my laptop I only need good alternative.
Breakfast with krzepki Radek and Balsam. hehe Polish imagination
Lunch in Pizza Hut & surival game in hih heel shoes and krasnals trousers. CRAZY looking for Kebab place, lots of fun, visiting butik even if we were the last team!:(
Jeffs was rocking lots of fun and getting dizzy. Im old cause I left party a little bit earlier or even much earlier:/
I need to visit this our shop cause the whole EB know it and it seems to be quiet ql place:]
Sunday breakfast at 4 pm why not:]
When we started like this Monday cannot be normal
we had to say bye to domiq;-)
2 am, boys in suits we in our dressing - gowns. zubrowka, rakija, sth more, checking @ net 4 am, going to sleep 7 am, of course no school on tuesday, there are still lectures I havent been to at all!
Actually it is ql to nie robyc nyc:]
but i cannot continue this proces 4 2 long cause then i become uncomfortable!

picture pictures:P

ok few more:P:P

hm

I hate...
Xmas?
no ok but I hate this vanty fair
this shopping fever
these gifts without emotions just a list what I want to have afterwards new clothes, sth to decorate house:/
Ithink I spent aroun 4 hours in Arkadia with my mum... no atmosfere of Xmas only in few shops decoration or music reminds of Xmas... strange
WE even do not need Xmas connection we are so used to shoppin during this perios of the year or what?
and hm I do not want to mention what is in offer in these shops
2nd thing on my walls in my room u can find pictures but they are old now i have only these digital ones on my laptop...
and so easy to share everything
using YouTube!... ql
so fast
sharing is caring but...
I feel like in Matrix;-)
cause u never know maybe someone is making movie right here right now and then it will be on the web eh

pictures!

some pictures

team day or budget of Szczecin;-)

party time:P

LCC

high school...

Our last meeting of IVc that which actually didnt happen make me realize 1 thing I do not have close realtions with almost any of people I spent 4 years around 6 hours daily on average with. It was ql to see Tomek and chat I think I wrote about our meeting before recruitment day when Tomek came to Warsaw for curling championship... but even with Laska and Pysia I ws supposed to come to Poznan and of course was not able to manage:/ (btw I have just switched on my mobile funny to see these all old smses Ryba I would really like to go with happy team and watch Borat;-)), sorry to all those who were calling to me and I was not able to answer! and Basia sorry for writing all posts in this wa without enters and dots I will try to remeber about this now!!!
So people especially my people hope we will see during Xmas & manage to make some fixed appointments...?
But it was time to move back in time.. totally random meeting chat with Ala on my mum's phone actually I miss this personality sometimes in my rush to the point mature;-) life
And later on coming back to warsaw - yeah actually going to warsaw means going back for me
and meeting Kolek travelling together, chat about school, sailing, mates,
Reminding myself of this naive time in my life.
On one hand cannot me being this kind of person I was this incredible number of mistkaes I made but if I could turn back time I would probably do all of them one more time.
Eh sometimes I think life is much harder now but I cannot and do not want to go back
I have this kind of feeling that righ here right now I am to feel the rain on my skin...

crazy stories from my life...

Eh maybe ur right maybe im crazy, hm ut for sure my life is full of funny moments;-) most recent ones: going back home with bus501, after this experience I think women are worse drivers. Ok slow and gustily that is typical for all fresh drivers but this woman didnt know on which but to stop and asked people!!! no comments:] then on Wednesday I lost my phone. I thought I left it home but I lost it runinng to catch the bus. After one day of getting use to it was even pleasant no to bi called and disturbed all the time. I was calling but noone was answering but the singal was not busy so noone used it... Then taxi driver picked up the phone when Klimeczek called, but he did only once said number of his taxi, but then Ola appeared on taxi stop he was not there, and number he gave to Justynka was also not the good one so I was not able to identify it during visit in this taxi office:/ Finally I decided to block sim card, get new one and use my old phone:/. Lost all contacts but still;-) the today in 2 weeks time! after coming back from Bulgaria I saw black skoda taxi with this numebr actually one six less than the number Klimeczek gave me and I got my mobile back can u imagine this... maybe im lucky... stupid people are lucky but I am more for the sentence my mother always repeats good things are coming back to you!!! actually I got this mobile for the second time 1st was in mace I wrote about it on blog... so as a goood person I have my mobile back yeah... THANK YOU!!!

...

actually today is the first time im cooking in this flat, that means first time since september im cooking my dinner!!! wow wanna join me spaghetti and red wine!!! Cooking ql, eating warm home made meal 14:27 even more and then i first time used vacum cleaner in this flat yes, actually I felt i leave here I may spend weekend or day at home not just a place im coming back to sleep

Me & Bulgaria

Thinking about going for mc Bulgaria started long time ago but then ups and downs thinking of local reality @plad, but finally due to some i can not call them lucky coincidences I ended up heading for December national conference in Bulgaria as Faci and MC applicant but of course as everything in my life it could not be so easy - problems with connection and sending application in the latest moment, without 2 my strict censors looking at it i managed to send application, then Euro trip Ivo sorry for taking this nickname also for my travel;-) fog in Warsaw and planes not going! - night trip with train to Prague, stress, crowds, lack of money, but then determination and also support of Ivo, Czarny, Klimeczek, Bassion, Radzio, Mateusz;-) my mum thank u!!! u make me go for airport in Prague;-) meeting Jarda then our flight delayed, fog one more time inventing these crazy ideas of flying to Bucharest and taking train to svishtov then. Luckily we were able to take plane but with delay so we missed last bus:/ but determination to be at the venue asap just to get to know faci, venue prepare for elections but also to avoid traveling with ira huh;-) switching train in abandoned Levski hungry and i think a little bit shocks, then this ql train much better than in Poland hehe so many contrasts and we are the venue! yellow taxi, known faces, and 2 new ones;-), from the very beginning feeling at home, matrix without sound, and fun all the time, 1st day a little bit unprepared due to late arrival but everything went better with every minute. seeing ravin shocked by what i already knew e.g. no breakfast, people eating separately, reminding myself of showers, meat and having my shocks! seeing familiar faces, running my crazy excelencia flc!!! talks till 6 in the morning!!! eh i miss this atmosphere happy people random people crazy people friendly people
and G didnt expect u to see u there but it was so ql to see u there!!!
elections- hard topic but important part of me so...
Firstly this feeling smart suit, music... ur simply the best and this feeling.... u stay in front of these people now for the first time but u can shape with them AIESEC starting from this very moment right here right now till the end of term 2007/2008 or even longer
mcp presentations and ur time I was third staying there and getting more & more stressed giving up presentation and deciding to to only say my statement and take as much time as possible to answer questions according to words of some people it was quiet ql, focused, up to the point, with the clear answers next days... feeling as a part of AIESEC in BG feeling all these strong emotions! MCP results and Mc results got vote of trust 5:1, and these mixed feelings of being lost instead of pure happiness. Hard talks, hard discussions, amazing gala dinner in the mean time why amazing cause I think its quiet ql tradition and experiencing it from the faci mc table even better. Hard time and heading for Sofia for final countdown.
Foggy weather, last faci dinner, crazy of tiredness Cebulska u wont fly away;-) cultural experience (bathroom I think strike me most;-) and drivers;-)>, this feeling maybe in half a year I will move here and live for one year. Then discussions and hat to leave before final decision stressed during traveling and… mcp elections postponed till January eh but ok I will wait this experience gave me a lot of self confidence and belief in my strengths my trip ended with ql airport in Prague and its shitty train station
Finished with a lot of things ahead and with much bigger backup
But now time to go ahead to get all these small things done: especially school but also lots of AIESEC job for my lc and lots of my personal development cause every moment is so precious….
Now time to this small stupid things- cleaning and watching Magda M just to make sure I do not want to lead this kind of happy artificial life, not yet:*

history of one relation

hehe crazy title but I want to share sth!
Sorry Klimeczek it wont be about u:P
So ... YC 2006 crazy time, full of stress, challenges, missed opportunities and people in my life, faci team- some of them my friends, some of them just random and one hm cold bitch:P named Ira;-). DecNatCo2006 chair... Jarda? no.. Ira yeah chair & my roommate actually. My feelings when i found out... if there sth or sb that can make me not given vote of trust by @ in BG she undoubtedly belongs to this group!, making me uncertain and uncomfortable,first hours...grh and then hour by hour talk by talk i dunno can i call it friendship but without this person my staying in bg would be less inspiring, less motivating & more shity and I miss u man;-) in the same time it made me reflect on my @ path, future plans and past experience, my gg skype 7 msn list and Im amazed i didnt realize i have so many ql mates i didnt realize i have so many amazing and unique friends!!! thought it is impossible to have so many people u can rely on who care about u and who r important 4 u!!! Thank you all 4 being with me
4 kicking my ass and making me stand up and fight, accepting my weaknesses and making me smile

just random thoughts

actually i got a little more crazy lately yes its possible and didnt write
think u know how was recrutiment and rw going if now u need to apply for vp pd in my lc and read from transition materials;-)
RW was impressive and meeting with wosp hope it wont be only one short moment in life of interns bniechut it will have positive impact on them and it will be a beginning of cooperation between AIESEC and WOSP, visit in Opera quiet borring hm...
elections reuslts in country and ilawa ql although bozenka;-) was not selected:(watching process I realized how much knowledge and development I got in AIESEC, but in the same time how AIESECcan be far far away from this what is happning in the world:(
ok and what happended during this month
actually fighting with my inner aversion to school
why instead of developing myself should i waste time on this classes and lectures
is it only my feelings?
ok i have some great classes but majority of them i already got the knowledge rom @ and the rest hm getting book from the lecture list will be probably better cause I would be able to learn in my pace.
Still nevertheless time to focus on school and make up for gaps I want to go abroad for one year or maybe more so need to clean my account with uni!