What will you do between 15 and 18 of 11.2008

too much

most probably only few people will be able to read this post
it is not about beeing frustrated
it is about discovering who you are.
It is about ability to see you from outside when the only mirror you have is a small mirror in the bathroom - do u still know body, your figure?
It is about the feeling when u have too many thoughts in one moment to put them in ur head.
It is about sitting and not thinking and than realizing you again think about That !
It is about the will to run fast and far and the will to sleep sleep sleep.
It is about thinking and english and discovering friends from pl who are far away and all in all most probably will neve live in the same town as you.
It is about passion about future and being too exhasuted to fight for it
It is about being amazing bitch not able to fight for own interest.
It is about disappointment with some people and some fascinations with loosers who are far away from success but are nice, or have nice office?! sick this was really too much !
it is about hating loosers but not thos who fail- actually it is about admiring these who fail and stand up.
It it about lack of ability to say to sb fuck off and hurting people without realizing it.
It is about wasting time.
It is about me...
the only mising part of my life now...
me?
do u know me?
can u help me to find myself?
do u know my directions?

it is about thinking too much? feeling too much? analyzing too much?maybe it is about fear?!

weekend

one man, one backpack - so many things- impressive, women can learn from it :D




Traditional Bulgarian food? or chinese for the second time during the day ;-)





Romanian Killer ;-)

Pigeons shit- hugs for our kupa;-)



first snow and we :D




















Omg it was already week ago
grrr

what happened week ago?
- I had visit:D Owoc come to my place and we had fun - singing, making some moves, eating chinese of course, playing pool, darts game the name i dont know but was obvioulsy supporting owoc to win - countin only my every thirs point... and next day when i wanted to play again it ws broken hm...
But i was better in darts:P
Having fun during playing pool with Milen and Tina

seeing first snow ! Drinking wine and eating pistaszki :D
Movies while sinign myslovtiz, special greetings for kupist and romanian murder :d
ajajaja :D
sightseeing - I really feel ability and capacity to be a guide for simple tours around Sofi, still Vitosha left not discovered due to weather but also our laziness -->
voting! yeye it is only thanks to us that results were POsitive

ACT

ACT ACT ACT
or AChieve Today
Newies Conference in Bulgaria!
My main task now, fear emotions, passions, desire
My Faci team:
Anton Valkov – LCP of LC Svishtov, Bulgaria
Ivalina Beshkova – NST TM Bulgaria
Agnieszka Chrominska – LCVP ER of LC Wroclaw TU, Poland
Adam Skruch – LCP of Nowy Sacz, Poland
Michal Sroka – LCVP Communication of LC Kielce, Poland
Ema Tudose – OCP in LC Galati, Romania
Maria Zotova – LCVP X of LC Moscow, Russia
Maja Pesic – Recruitment Manager of Serbia
Get ready to jump...
And if ur member of @ bg some udpate for u:P

We have one month to ACT and a lot needs to happen in order to ensure successful Induction for all the Newies. Ensure proper agenda for you local meetings, fulfilling all Induction goals.
Inputs for that can be found here.
Timeline for the coming month:
Till 4th of 11.2007 all LISes are over you will receive a recruitment report around 30th of 09.2007 the deadline for filling it in will be 7th of 11.2007 so please plan your time – this will be extremely important for the LCP – MC meeting.
Time to meet!
Between 5th and 7th of 11.2007 individual chats will take place – please book around 2 hours and let me know till 29th 10.2007 the most suitable date for you!

I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.

Randomness

Amazing time of discussion, challenging and inspiring, still sometimes tired with amount of words and lack of action:/

Trip to venue of ACT with Ivo and Sofia- just while waiting for bus...

update

from most recent events :D
Yesterday I wrote my first online exam - we will see results most porbably next week.
Online classess are honestly much more demanding than the normal one on sgh still, all in all it is not so bad for the time being, hopefully I will amange to pass them with sth like 4.
It will be ok for me. Long time ago I decided that the grade at my university dont desire any attnetion not stress :D

sugarcubes/ memories/ changes

for those that dont know - sugar cubes are short notes/laters AIESEC members give to each other at the end of the conference- to people u feel grateful to, u liked a lot etc.
Since 2004I have managed to collect box with them and took them to Bulgaria dunno why I felt today it is the moment to read them - maybe cause i didnt feel like studying at all, maybe due to fisrt snow, maybe reflecting on my friendships. It was glimpse of thoughts- some short ones - who de fak gave me this sugar, what did he mean, some just stating oh yeah ur so cool bla bla, and then ATOM 2006 - at the end of them... Fisrt local conference of my eb term...
Im not sure I know how to write all the emotions that are in me afterwards
1) yes it was worth it everything in @ was worth it and the clear path of connections between past, current and future
2) sorry to all those i disappinted during my term, I know there are some and if I were to judge I wish I had sb to kick me that time - maybe on the other way these people should speak their mind, share sth with me - obvious learing u cannot take too much on yourself which I did! Also u need to have balance- I'm so happy now in Bulgaria, when i hear from people things I heard some time ago and I lost.
Happiness, spontaneous, ideas, passion, lighting eyes, energy! Personal refelction - sth that I missed last term - but we learn constantly dont we?

and business cards aaaa- 18 in the dustbin .. no comments on that:P

so what happened in the mean time

Visit in Plovdiv - meeting Iva, planing our activities seeing how the LC is doing - when u sit in the MC office u miss such moments and opportunity to interact with people. It was cool to see gr8 job of people in the LC still wondering how I can better contribute to their development and support their efforts. I also found time for some beer with them and sightseeing Plovdiv thanks to my nice guide my NST Iva :-)

beer with LCP;-)

its cool to have digital camera able to take pictures even from bush ;-) or stairs

history

last year at this time - recruitment - exhausting
applications for faci at
ZIMKO
NPS
ATEMKO
CEEMOS --> no space for me there as faci
feeling terrible
loosing self confidence, loosing belief I can find my way in AIESEC I can stay in this organization for longer- because for what:/
At the end of the day coming to Bulgaria
-amazing decision - hope not only for me but also for this country
right now at the moment - this f*** feeling of doing to others what you faced last year- rejecting them :(
baaad baaad feeeling :/
you cannot satisfy everybody :/

What's up with u:-)?

So what was happening with me- a lot. First of all we had Mc discussion and meeting to prepare for some changes concering law and financial issues- very important and not very present in Bulgaria up to now - challening and brining the feeling that ur a change! We had also some manifestations in front of the office, some problems with the internet - all made our life challenging but of course we managed;-) Freezing with a terrible headache from ostawka we were working working working - its recruitment period and having some shopping with people- Geri and Rafa- as mummy tkaing care of children. And nice weekend in Plovdiv - 3 days of my life... about them in next post!
Manifestation - yeah office in the center has pros and cons!








With Plovdiv people - up with Bo OCP of recruitment
Left - with Tony VP PD :D

presentaitons presentations

Yesterday we made presentation for people who can create a new LC - It was amazing eXPerience for few reasons:
1 - Showing movie from IC in Germany - date about AIESEC in this movie - over 80 countries, over 18 000 students
Currently, just 3 years after - over 100 countries, over 30 000 students - great isnt it?
Still what will be the growth our term will contribute to?!
2 - Why there is no AIESEC in Belarus?! Why there are still countries without AIESEC if there are people there willing to be our members...
3 - Contact with people, reminding yourself of your first step in organization, first projects and tasks that at that point of time were impossible for you, now seeming to be so easy... do you always have this passion? Do you have it for every small activity you are doing? If not why do you do these things?
4 - happening right now, today - out of 15 people at presentation we have already 4 appying to AIESEC wohooo!

Together with first people interested in establishing new LC

But this wasn't the only presentation of this week - today I'm going to TU, I will share my storry with potential candidates, again with Milen :-)
It's amazing feeling when you share your storry, the way AIESEC impacted you, the change you have observed in yourself and in the environment and be able to invite people to join.
Especially for person like me - against all these clapping happy people, sharing stories of their life as in Amway meeting or at least anonymous alcoholics:/
I feel embarassed, I feel not in place but...
Today I feel also extremely happy and satisfied...:-)

networking

Conscious decision - my networks are too big - strange it may seem?!
Networking - so important, so crucial nowadays...
And me as always upside down?
dunno
but my list of friends on communicators shrunk significanlty - Polish GG from 180 to 75
others dont wanna count- feel so much better !
;-)

homelss

Inspired by the post of friend - I feel that currently I'm homeless but not in the meaning of feeling crappy.
I feel free!
I feel happy
I would like to live in backpack even more?!
Why?
Cause I basically like the awareness that in one big backpack and one big bag I can put more or less everything I need! I like the feeling that I can go somewhere and will be back to my place, but this place is just temporary so i dont get frustrated with all its drawbacks.
I'm homeless cause just now I have only room - totally different from what i used to but interesting
in warsaw- no place
in ilawa more than one but honestly none of them mine anymore
:-)
so pl strange poland will be reality so soon...
do i want it?

I believe...

I believe the choice to be excellent begins with aligning your thoughts and words with the intention to require more from yourself.
How about you?

coffee

I don't drink it and I'm happy about it.
We had this random conversation what would happen if coffee were forbidden to all those not able to start a day without coffee?
Why marry jane is worse than coffee?
how far are we influenced by culture, history?
what can be cold common sense and rationality?
who has the right to decide about such things and why actually do we decide for others - what is this collect rationality about?

life is life

Obviously this is shitty song but...
it brought me some thoughts
don't remember if I heard this song in the mean time but for sure I heard it sth like wow 4 years ago (man this time...)
and that time I was feeling sth is wrong in my life I'm not treating myself well and I'm not ok with myself my self awareness, confidence and esteme was far below the polish average even;-) My happines was "podrobka szczescia z farbyki na tajwanie..."
Today - the one thing I had that time is missing - love (but was it love???) but I have so much more aaaa omg Im happy!!!
I;m crazy happy I love my life I dont want to change it (ok I always want changes and sth new, maybe this is my biggets problem., but this time not so rapidly)
funny life is life in general - about luv maybe I already met this person but the time was not good...loking at some stories this is the most possible... so right person, doing right activity in one time- ultimate solution for everything;-)
happiness:D

Go and vote!

Welcome Rapha

typical AIESEC picture
Nice event still much calmer :P than I'm used to but with sharing some Zubrowka, Brazilian and Bulgarian alcohol and enjoying a new person around me :-)

update in pictures- see bottom-->up

partying- with wine, with beer, eating chinese or eating duner- sometimes u can:D
or,,, sweets yeah- for sure not healthy and food balance will have to come back but now we just enjoy! chat, have fun, gossip, challenges yeaaaaaaaaaah i love such evenings
modelling new jeans- shopping important part of life with Geri.
Imagine fun- Indian girl showing me shops in Sofia, comparing prices to those in Poland, Hungary and India making first ever winter shopping... omg u know that some ppl dunno how to buy wintershoes and how to zip them... obviously cause they didnt need this knowledge, some moments I felt like mum making shopping with daughter- fun!
and for of us = whole team;-)

with Ivo

on the conbcert- fresh air, beer music and friends :D
After the concert we drunk some beer on benches- I love BG for that- u can dirnk on the fresh air and amount of parks in Sofia is amazing- all around me green!
Cheap wine,--> Sofia for 1Eur, warm peanuts I do enjoy it!

update

Actually a lot is happening around me- recruitment and EDT are time consuming, moreoever working conditions are not the best ones- we dont have regular access to the internet and finally so many working weekends in the row make this month really long:/
I also think that I miss loneliness in terms of time for myself and my thoughts etc.
After EnterCEE I still have ppl at my place...
Just after - 6 faci and some PL guys, then 2 Polish, 2 Polish, Geri and Ivan and finally now only Geri, it is cool celebrating time and enjoying sofia with ur predecessor, however I think I got used to my personal space... having roommate will be really interesting.

my first time(s)

yeah
It's getting colder in bulgaria as well, it started to rain, but still the days are cool, something is happening around me all the time.
Regarding the work- I will post it today later or tomorrow but it's sometimes overwhelming
regarding of private life...
I have tried sweet chestnut - nth special but the whole idea of roasted chestnut, walking in the park, chatting I love it, it is amazing trying new things, discovering the world and yourself
The second first time was...
visit in Philharmonic - it was the first conscious one- I will not count school trips, visits with grandparents etc
But this time it was me going there... and
honestly first time was terrible- I was tired and almost falling asleep, but the second one- wohoo
I rediscover classical music!
I fall in love with it...
I love the feeling of feeling;-) the music with ur whole body
with ur soul if u have such and just enjoy it :D super cool ;-)
but it is so funny how hard it is to find it in emule- Britney Speer or other stuff why not
Eh current culture...

Music

Some time ago I share here my favourite song...- After IC.. Rise up
It got new connection on EtnerCEE - with my best, peak Faci eXPerience and with my new amazing friends that I miss...
That's why this Sunday was so amazing- I was able to hear this music life.
With some people I like with me, missing some that I would like to share this moment with even more, but still
people I'm happy!

Destination success...:P

My dream is to ...

Is school useful?

How often do you complain that ur study is not sth u can really aling with ur personal goals?
Today I realized I do love my studies...
why?
1) I have e-learning courses- I can study while being in Bulgaria, I can study with people from all over the world; exchange opinions, share experience- amazing, trully virtual platform;-)
2) I have demandind tutors that challenge me, expect me to research and learn, I think that I have to spend much more time on this e-learning that I used to for "normal" classes...
Still one of the subjects I attend is Transformation of CEE :-) Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?
Frankly speaking I don't but I'm happy I was asked them now!
I enjoy my studies :-)

1. Please discuss the influence of socialist regime and central planning for the today situation in CEEC addressing positive and negative aspects (you may refer to CEE as a region or choose only one country).
2. Please analyze the main challenges for CEE region in the globalized world (you may focus on one/ several countries or one/ several aspects).
3. What would you change in the CEEC transition agenda as a reform expert? Please assume it is 1990 and you have already the experience of the transition results as presented over the course?
4. Which country/ countries would you consider the best example of transition in CEE? Why? Please give arguments for your choice?
5. Which country/ countries would you consider the worse example of transition in CEE? Why? Please give arguments for your choice?
6. How would you assess the EU enlargement of 2004 from the perspective of CEE new member states? What problems/ challenges and benefits would the new members face?
7. How would you use the experience of transition in CEEC for the changes in China? What scenario of changes is possible in China? How would the Chinese agenda differ from the CEEC experience?
Other course is also amazing- Rationality and Moral Choice...
imagine ur tutor asking u such questions:
How does that compare with the goals of sex and power that most people seem predisposed to. Sometimes the latter is instaniated as 'to reign over the earth in the Kingdom of God' and sometimes is the reign of a given nation or culture. The former is often seen as various versions of pleasure. But aren't those the main drives? [I'm playing a devil's advocate here, a little bit.]
I have also two in Polish hope they will be at least this quality :-)
hugs!

drinking wine

DEfinitelly the best drink isn't it?
Even when u have so much fun openning it, or maybe then even bigger.
Basically we wanted to drink a wince, in most of the cases we open it with marker- good trainer need marker to lead a training and relax afterwards- so marker always in the backpack;-) Sometimes, however, there is too much wine and u cannot use marker. When ur at home u have bottle opener. Still our wine was special - Bottle opener didnt manage, marker either- even while putting cork with a makrker and hammer inside:] There was too much wine in it, so we started to take cork out with the knife small piece by small piece.
Fun. Openning of the wine took us sth like one hour:/ and the wine itsefl was not the most tasty one :]

http://blackle.com/

How is Blackle saving energy?
Blackle was created by Heap Media to remind us all of the need to take small steps in our everyday lives to save energy. Blackle searches are powered by Google Custom Search.
Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. "Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen." Roberson et al, 2002
In January 2007 a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year proposed the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. Since then there has been skepticism about the significance of the energy savings that can be achieved and the cost in terms of readability of black web pages.
We believe that there is value in the concept because even if the energy savings are small, they all add up. Secondly we feel that seeing Blackle every time we load our web browser reminds us that we need to keep taking small steps to save energy.
How can you help?
We encourage you to set Blackle as your home page ( set ). This way every time you load your Internet browser you will save a little bit of energy. Remember every bit counts! You will also be reminded about the need to save energy each time you see the Blackle page load.
Help us spread the word about Blackle by telling your friends and family to set it as their home page. If you have a blog then give us a mention. Or put the following text in your email signature: "Blackle.com - Saving energy one search at a time".
Have a look at our energy saving tips page for ideas on steps you can take to save energy.
There are a lot of great web sites about saving energy and being more environmentally friendly. They are full of great tips covering the little things that we can all do to make a difference today. Try Blackling "energy saving tips" or visit treehugger.com a great blog dedicated to environmental awareness.

more more more;-)

trqaditional @ picture














Whole amazing E-Drive Team














Of course here you can see E D T :P

more pictures;-)

team in black :-)

GN inicatives, they seem to be the best iniciatives of the world;-)

black team - all missions possible !

whole content team (only Anula missing:P)

the most expensive strawberries in my life;-)

Some of the EnterCEE moments

:-) Creating our symbol



















Changing the atmosphere in venure- climbing not football playing














Draft version of the symbol











































IC memories;-)














EnterCEE spirit

Catching up...

Sorry guys for not writing for so long! I was really really busy! But it was time of my life without any doubts.
It was such intense as only in AIESEC can be 2 conferences one after another, sleepless night, new environment etc, new people around me and nice.
Recruitment meeting- lots of strange feelings and empotions- satisfaction seeing the results.
In the same time almost the whole day run in Bulgarian huh - I have already written about that.
Than EnterCEE started- actually together with Anula coming on Monday, Wojtek during night, Vlada, celbration of Milenski exams and Tuesday loooong travel to Veliko Turnovo with Tina,Anula, Vlada and Wojtek, meeting Geri and so it started, trully amazing eXPerience.
I will rememebr it for long, first will come pictures and movies, cause now Im trying to catch up with work and it is not so easy to find time for writing:/