Just need a place to think

And actually will keep it, too many thoughts too many things, too many behaviours.
So I'm sick with the flu staying in bed and feeling
1) lonely
2) without any aim in my life
3) sick
extremelly pathetic I guess if I were depressed I would jump through window;-)
Still, sometimes you just need this hard kick to realize how stupid you were.
So first conclusion
not only were I not doing things that will bring my to achieve my goals but indeed I was doing things that was totally far away from my route:/
So what I want to do...
1) I do want to have a family. I want to share my life with somebody, have 2-3 kids, arrange my flat etc.
2) I want to do a job that matters, that will help people to lead better life, will be useful and impactful.
3) I want to travel, I want to travel around the world and discover places only few may visit.
4) I want to speak foreing languages read books without translation and be able to communicate with people I met.
And actually I think I knew this long time ago but maybe I was too scared of failure or I lacked belief in my strength and capabilities.
So no more time too waste on things that are not connected with this goal that's the plan :) keep ur fingers crossed.