amount of thoughts

It's sometimes killing me! My time for myself and my amont of thoughts and emotions.
Let's take SFEM just seeing in my commission myself from one year ago, or on some team meetings doing that what makes u crazy on commission meetings. My way from previous term, my current way where is it leading?
My current focuses:
Men- oh im not searching for any:P but Im realizing that 3 out of my closest which altogether i can count 5 now are totally the same type!
But moreover im also like that now...
Like that meaning missing another person from time to time but no too often cause it can lead to being limitted- sth we are really scared of:]
And two else are totally opposite, desperatelly searching for love, ok not searching but feeling they need the person aside. Question are they so emotional or just at the stage of being desperate and after 4 months will join us showing that sth is wrong with us? or our emotions or?
2) development and aiesec, my place in organization, changes in me my current state, my future plans. I would like to get feedback from some people but its so hard:/