Sibulka's life

Bye bye

2010-05-09T12:09:00.002+02:00

So actually a lot of things happened within duration of this blog- travelling around the world, falling in love or thinking that I was in love, AIESEC membership, time to say bye to some people, some memories, some things to make space for a new one- just before turning 25 seems also to be a good moment, isn't it?
So I'm shifting to
http://sibulka.wordpress.com
see ya there

Being powerful or using your potential

2009-12-14T13:18:00.002+01:00

Recently, I've realized that actually I'm not doing what I should do in order to feel happy and fulfilled. Actually, I'm doing totally weird things and acting as if I had wanted sth different, so I guess new year is a great time to actually make resolution as I quiet never do. Keep to them and pursuir own happiness.
So my first step is to get job that I will consider useful, funny enough it may be rather giving out Metro newspaper that internship in a big multinational company about all and nothing.
I have these thoughts crossing my mind why some jobs are regarded as not nice, not good to have and you shall be ashamed of them? I guess as long as you are satisfied with your work and money why not?
So DEcember is time for me to think and find some asnwers as I really go in wrong direction:/

Just need a place to think

2009-11-14T18:42:00.003+01:00

And actually will keep it, too many thoughts too many things, too many behaviours.
So I'm sick with the flu staying in bed and feeling
1) lonely
2) without any aim in my life
3) sick
extremelly pathetic I guess if I were depressed I would jump through window;-)
Still, sometimes you just need this hard kick to realize how stupid you were.
So first conclusion
not only were I not doing things that will bring my to achieve my goals but indeed I was doing things that was totally far away from my route:/
So what I want to do...
1) I do want to have a family. I want to share my life with somebody, have 2-3 kids, arrange my flat etc.
2) I want to do a job that matters, that will help people to lead better life, will be useful and impactful.
3) I want to travel, I want to travel around the world and discover places only few may visit.
4) I want to speak foreing languages read books without translation and be able to communicate with people I met.
And actually I think I knew this long time ago but maybe I was too scared of failure or I lacked belief in my strength and capabilities.
So no more time too waste on things that are not connected with this goal that's the plan :) keep ur fingers crossed.

Things have better names than they are in reality

2009-09-04T12:22:00.002+02:00

1) Distance for a person used to walking it is amazing why do you need train or cab sometimes cause some places are so cloooose, also it can be amazing if you expect from garden to be sth more or maybe much more than the garden u may have around your house and if the name lake creates image of lake from Warmia in Masuria in your head...

So some of the things here are hmmm they are nice, charming, good place to be, still if you expect them to be really impressive you may be dissapointed cause they are just normal...

But moving to the point see pictures above- lake gardens, orchid and hibiscus gardens and come to your own conclusions.

Impressions of Malaysia

2009-09-04T12:00:00.002+02:00

Below you can see a river in the middle of shopping mall, actually this is one of these Asian countries that are developed and somehow well known for their malls and shopping places- I ended up in this one only accidentially - it was the one and only place to eat around IC venue and of course once in Malaysia u need to eat something when its lunch or dinner time - u cannot starve- so boat and river in the shopping mall- why not, still before leaving I should go to one, but we will see this is not a must do for me.

Funny thing about malls- imagine fancy ones e.g. Prada stall being closed with the big big chain and padlock - funny isnt it:>?

IC - AIESEC event in my non-AIESEC life

2009-09-04T11:50:00.002+02:00

small XMU reunion - AIESEC gae me the opportunity to work in virtual teams and this is something that I for sure would love to do in my future life- work and connect virtually with people from different countries and regions!!!

AIESEC in Bulgaria:) beloved Tony!!! this is most probably - cause with tony you can never say for sure, last AIESEC conference when we met, pitty busy MCP didnt have time to just hang around and have random chats still its good to know that there are friends all over the world with whom u still have connection! And I was so proud seeing AIESEC in Bulgaria delegates - people I met on my way during MC term, but also seeing how stronger, more mature they are and how the country grows!

Victor- guy who is impressive and surprising mixture of Asian personality and European worldview in many cases!:)

IC 2009 - actually for me huge huge feeling that it was high time to leave AIESEC and start new life, still it was good to meet some old friends - Robbie the most charming and energetic person on my way :)

pictures

2009-08-25T17:24:00.003+02:00

just perfect harmony :D:)

so this is this symbol of the town in heads of most of my friends and family I guess:)

Still havent been inside but even from outside is amazing - tall and beautiful but also with amazing surroundings - nice park, some pool for children, palms really really naaaaaaaaaaaajs!

h1n1:>?

2009-08-25T16:52:00.003+02:00

this is indeed panic
1- on the airport they indeed scan u to check ur temperature i actually dunno anyone who was stopped but still there are ppl for that and everyone gest leaflet how to protect yourself.
2- washing hands - it's hard for me as actually I'm not obsessed with washing hands still it seems some people are;-) u cannot eat before washing hands in each place to eat if they serve meals u will eat with hands there will be for sure a place to wash these hands.
3- maska - not only disposable ones but masks with some hello kitty symbols on them etc, many many people in masks and actually if ur sick and u go to the doctor not only will u get medicine but also mask for urself :d
interesting

some pictures:

2009-08-24T17:24:00.002+02:00

http://picasaweb.google.pl/moonisieq/LakeGardens#5373446595182435394

assumptions

2009-08-24T17:22:00.002+02:00

read such post by ela and came to my own conclusions as well
- milk tea - i think it's asian thing- if you want tea without milk u should indicate it! In malaysia there is a word for tea - and its tea with milk if u want a tea without milk you need to add o! but actually why should you do so at least not all the time milk teas is nice!
alcohol - party = drinking. not really party= eating!!!
:D
if u want a take away drink u will get it in plastic cup?
no way plastic yes but bag :D

Malaysia tuly Asia

2009-08-24T16:55:00.002+02:00

after exhausting trip arrived :)
1) funny Air Asia - actually very comfortable and nice still it/s a little bit funny when u see in your seat place where tv used to be but it's not there anymore since it's cheap airline.
Jet lag- actually almost not noticed just long sleeping as always when its hot;-) and some problems with sleeping during the night as it's either very hot or it was too cold when air conditioning was on.
interesting note from a guide "pedestrians are not high priority" lol but true lack of crossings, pavements so people cross the street in a little bit wild and random way- much worse than Europe still much better than in India!
2) knife- why do u need this tool? of course its not needed - u use fork to keep meat, to grab some food and spoon to grab ice and to cut ur food into pieces- in this peace country there cannot be other way;-)
3) Malays Indian and Chinese - great great diversity of tastes, cultural habits etc just amazing how they can not only exist but learn from each other so that they invent great mixtures.
4) Food even more amazing than they claimed - delicious and cannot wait to taste as much as possible.
5) country - my mum bring my attention to 1 fact- modern buildings and places, high tech solutions in cohabitation with traiditon, culture, old habits and buildings - everything you need.
6) Alcohol indeed expensive and hard to find - to this extend that today I bought a sause with a sticer- contains alcohol on it - it was just normal mayo- cucumber sauce so called tatarski lol!
picture will come soon;-)
7) air conditioning aaaaaaaaaaaa- this is the reason of swine flu undoubtedly ur hot when out and every where- in restaurants, clubs, buses its freezing cold!
more soon to come!

getting older

2009-08-18T23:19:00.002+02:00

My aunt is getting older in a way that is not hm accepted nowadays? She is becoming more and more dependant- she needs support otherwhise she will live but the quality of her lif is getting lower and lower. I visited her last week and at first I was shocked - for a time being everyone was and is fit in my family. Ok my grandparents get older and older still they can do many things alone- my grandma is even using laptop and internet - thx to her the university has its web page, they both use mobiles and then u see a person who is younger than them but who is phisically and mentally much older than them. What woulde be our thoughts? mine were mixed from confusion how come and why this things happen and we cannot prevent them, through feeling guilty why for me as young person it is so hard to find patience and power to interact more with elderly till thought how current society becomes not supportive for the family.

travelling nowadays

2009-08-18T23:15:00.002+02:00

is it a privilidge?
obligation?
necessity?
really hard for me to find opinion abt it--> on the one hand it's expensive to travel to pay for means of transportation, accommmodation not to mention some entrances or another facilities.
On the other hand how can you just live in one place for a live not to challenge yourself with other cultures.
or maby it is just another way of spending money of people who are bored with their life and not able to be happy with what they have and constantly looking for sth more?

what happened in the mean time?Family holiday

2009-08-18T23:08:00.004+02:00

amazing fact was travelling with my family- both parents and my cousine surprising and challenging mix but good fun -
everyone willing to see as much as possible so travelling from one city to another in one day including some cathedrals and airshows to finish with some kinghts fight - good fun

afterwards there was a time of travelling around some airplanes events- seeing people who can do amazing things in the air, playing with risk- impressive but totally not my story

First part of holiday with family- coming back to the old time and renting a sailing boat for one day.
A little bit expensive, a little bit random cause we ended up only two of us me and my mum but also amazing- seeing and feeling I still remember and know how to sail even if it's a little bit windy and I'm on board only with my mum;-)
I also noticed I really miss it and need to run my life in more organized way.

travelling= blogging

2009-08-18T23:05:00.002+02:00

I dunno why but always while travelling there is enough time to blog:D. maybe because my travelling habits- doing my best to make it extreme I think my way to Malaysia can be called like that -
leaving home town 17.08 around 12 o clock
arriving to ldn around 14:00 the next day,
walking around coach station for around2,5 without any pounds- why do i need them;-)
travelling to the airport and around 6 hours of waiting there.
of course after around of one hour of walking around, refreshing i decided to pay for the internet and so am I.
after checking two most popular portals for estate trade I have still 3 hours to my fligth which I can spend online without any plans- I paid for it so I will use it, the whole flight will be time for sleep;-)

my approach towards high tech gadgets

2009-07-11T11:27:00.002+02:00

... im totally not from this century-
in november i got my mp4, but it was hard to install it- it was zune so maybe this explains a lot;-), so it was staying at home, on my desk and i was listetning music in my mobile- the great nokia;-)but yesterday I decided its totally stupid not to use it or I just thought it will be good to have storage for my files since I also dont have my notebook now- this may be even more weird taking into consideration my addicition to internet etc, still high tech dummy gave up and im using pc from my mum, coming to an end--> i needed place for my pics, music movies and 120gb mp 4 was the best destination wasnt it? and ladies and gentlemen I managed!!!!:D:D
yeyeye I have my zune with my files on it and spend yesterday amazing time playing sudoku and another game on it while staying in bath:D

If you don't know what to do in life- read a blog

2009-07-11T10:52:00.000+02:00

of Ela or of Wolaczek and its obvious again- travelling, meeting new people, new cultures i cannot resits this! and my job needs to be connected with it otherwise i will just die;-)

Big cleaning

2009-07-11T10:13:00.001+02:00

In order to make ur blog active u need some changes :-)- especially women need them, so actually I started with changing links to blogs of my friends- most of them are to be erased- ppl dont blog anymore- blogs were dedicated to year abroad, mc terms, sometimes internships and now- back in normal life ppl dont have time, or dont have need to blog, the rest that stayed needed to change description ppl are not in this country, occupation anymore, there is only one blog that stayed not changed, guess whose:>?

value of money

2009-06-25T21:01:00.001+02:00

shoud be counted in what?
just wondering about it on my way to warsaw for exam about 1 week ago --> I paid for ticekt to Warsaw 70 pl - I had to go with IC with 26 discount (a little bit smaller than students' one) which is around 15 euro which is a ticket with wizzair or another cheap airlines from warsaw to brussels or sth does it make any sense? seems not!
the same number of money, you have to spend to go to stupid exam, or money u can spend on ticket to visit friends in another country?:/ strange

no more facebook in my life

2009-06-14T23:46:00.001+02:00

Ok I will not delete my account but spending the whole day logged in, taking few tests every day omg didnt even notice when I became so fb addcited, wasting my time and even worse becoming such exhibitionist. And the craziest thing is that 1 month ago i was totally not ableto understand how one can spend so much time on it and soon I spent more than 1 hour a day? so this phase of my life - when yo feel ur useless enough to abuse fb, when u cannot or are too lazy to spend time in active way and finally when you realize that you don't have time for other things is over ...

unpacking

2009-06-11T09:47:00.002+02:00

putting set of clothes in the wardrobe set of things that make me remember and dont fit any place here in this room, unpacking things that better hide here in this place. and after few hoursim still unpacking omg im not good in such things aaaaa, but hopefully afternoon will be spent outside and I will take my time for reflection, and few days later I still didnt manage to unpack my stuff aaaaa - doesnt fit my room aaaagrh

so this is it

2009-06-11T09:09:00.002+02:00

What do I mean by that?
This is end of huge chapter in my life- not counting primary school and sailing the longest one-unfortunatelly it still not university whith which im still fighting and striving - I ended chapter called actve AIESEC member.
Is hsould be hard to summarize and finish but for me the hardest is im totally not in the mood- dunno am I only oriented in present moment not in the past, but thinking of my plans and activities also not in the future?
I feel that I froze my life till October or maybe even till January?no idea why juz feel Im between and maybe i needed time in between to connect to myself and to decide in a conscious way what is my next chapter? or maybe life, at least mine doesnt need chapters?First time from many years Im not in the rush, not from one place to another, actually I dont even have my home - I have my room in my home town:/ I don't have my source of income so actually in the age of 24 i could think I'm a looser in my life, but I don't I just think my life was too full of people, emotions, adventures and it's time to slow down and relax I think I dream of loneliness and now I go to super cool family breakfast - home has indeed its advantages

Silence

2009-05-10T21:57:00.003+02:00

So bascially Im not used to silence in my life - I lvoe sounds, all around music, tv
generally there was a time when I gave up walking around with MP3 etc and tried to focus, read, calm down, but if I have opportunity and choice I always switch on sth :D
Generally I don't watch TV unless I'm at home - when Im there its just natual way of killing the silence.
Of course once I watch sth I also need to read or chat or do sth else
and of course advertisement its time to do many other activities but I just latelly realized that there are two TV spots that I like and maybe even prefer to series :D;-)
So true
so about me or my aspirtations regarding my way of life:

new approach to life ;-)

2009-05-08T18:17:00.002+02:00

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness.

Remember that happiness is a way of travel - not a destination.

Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do.

Two songs about life, its reasons two nice songs

2009-05-04T11:42:00.003+02:00

Spring- yes it's you

2009-05-03T09:46:00.002+02:00

Spring always brings changes- in your heart, emotions, behaviours and I started with small simple things --> cleaning my wardrobe - outcome 5 plastic bags with clothes which will be geven to the poorer people. Maybe I should try selling them but it's not in my character it's sometimes funny to think of how some things are just taken from family and you stick to them - so I will not trade my clothes but I just give them out:). So many old clothes - from highschool or even... primary school lol :D I kept one dress bought for graduating from primary school cause its so cool to know I still fit - my mood is much better afterwards;-). My wardrobe is halp empty but of courde it will be fuller after I bring back things from Warsaw but still I feel so much better:D. Still one wardrobe ahead wondering how many bags more :D

2009-05-01T00:56:00.004+02:00

fortune gathering cats - with hi tech oh yeah ;-)camera

emotions

2009-05-01T00:46:00.002+02:00

blogging was alwyas connected with them... the break was the reason or the result?
still I just noticed I froze sooo many emotions for the last months- seems irrational? with soe many things, ppl, but that's true they were frozen, now they are escaping from me and its painful and it's hard to control. I cannot stand this phase of my life I feel like taking holiday from reality, from ppl around from the situations that keep on repeating:/

amazing time in hk - pictures

2009-04-29T08:08:00.003+02:00

dissapearing in the fog - i was lucky to do sightseeing before conference when the weather was not so bad - afterwrds typical spring days came and weather was depressing:/

faci team :D

If you loose again motivation

2009-04-28T16:34:00.001+02:00

u can alwasy read old posts
OMG havent so much time for ages
some random reflections as well - kept only for myself
but omg i was so young and beautiful ;-)

Why did I stop blogging

2009-04-28T15:46:00.002+02:00

Sitting on the grass in front of the house I spent one year in I realized why I stopped blogging.
It was not because lack of time it was because:
1) I felt that when I'm in Poland people I want to share my thoughts and emotions with will be here around and I will not need blogging to update them.
What a painful mistake
during this year I havent met some - the question is do I still need and want - were they not important enough or just life and ppl changed and there is no need?
Basia, Mrozek, Kama and somehow my old EB is withing this group - my old EB cause i didnt participate in any get drunk as hell party since im back :(

some of the people I know I care and are important were just too far away - since we were both in the same country we thought there is noe need for fixed arrangements etc
This group goes to
Owoc, Kuspit, Laska and my lord:/

I thought blog is not relevant to stay in touch with ppl I care and far away - they deserve more time.
These are Ira, Geri, My BG MC team, Wolaczek
Wonder if you still come here and check what's up :>
life aaaa
I also realized that i didnt make a clear vision and goal for this year for me personally - from the very beginning I started the race- my personal race for 1000, when I realized its not possible and Im lonely in it I just clearly saw that ... I'm who I'm and that's all.
I went to India for 10 days and brought hardly any pictures being so cinvinced that I will come back there again - cause this year is just in between my life not a part of it.
Only after APXLDS I cam back on track that's why first posts are from there - region of culture that I admire and wanna be part of!.
It's funny because before I took picture of every room I lived in, eventhough I was travelling and not spending long hours there - for this year I didnt have my room so that I didnt have my place, without my place I think I lost my connection, so... I got it back and I'm here again:D

many thoughts

2009-04-22T22:05:00.002+02:00

posts will be divided into thoughts and pictures:>
1) way to conference, train, non smoking compartments, but ours is full of smoke, not extremelly full but there is smoke, 4 guys with beers, sitting, enjoying themselves, we change our sits, to be sure we will not stay in corridor we buy new tickets, why us not these guys?
2) hangovers- why are u so stupid to drink? cause you always miss the moment when to stop, the next day you die, but the next party you again forgot the limit, wouldnt be one of the best achievements of the current world- sth like a warning implant letting you know when to stop
3) Asia - I miss the place why? because of respect, values,

only pictures

2009-03-19T18:14:00.004+01:00

shopping malls of course every where- each train station as well as on the peak :>

Have it your way - onion has its own symbol - my way or the highway!

peak by day :) first happy face

HK surprises

2009-03-19T18:00:00.003+01:00

1) there are poor people here- namely the beggers its so shocking cause tis Asia, cause they are on the fancy streets - shopping paradises
2) food - everything starts with your mind - as long as you don't think what you eat its good. In fact it was the same in India I luv food I love experimenting but I cannot think too much of what I have eaten.
So of course seafood and chinese food - chopstick is so much fun especially when hunting for pineapple :)
So so far got jelly from turtle shell
some crazy drinks of things i dont know
traditional chinese breakfast a lot of meat- yeah i eat meat no choice about it and...
sushi and seafood delicious!
3) Small - small flats in high building amazingly high ! wondering how people where to build them years ago - this means Asian people are indeed smarter and more advanced than the others?
4) Different peole different HK - Victor and Sandy - traditional and polite versus agressive funny to see that everything is changing even Asia ;-)
5) smell people, food Asia is so intense - India was the same!
6) I know I love Asia, I love travelling I also love independence, discovering new things

Hong Kong is simply beautiful

2009-03-19T11:19:00.002+01:00

AIESEC stories - you met sb on the conference we say its network but than things change, days pass and ....
and in my case it turned out that person from HK can visit you in Poland and go even to your home town with you.
And person from Poland can go to HK because she really wants it - this is real impossible is nothing missed it latelly - i think that latelly i gave up dreaming.

Coming back to blogging - yeah!

2009-03-19T11:10:00.002+01:00

Reasons
I have bad memory and dont care about events and things most people think are amazing - blog is good option to look into the past
Im confused in life in paths to take, in size of learning of my last year, progress made, achievements accomplished
Im not sure my life is what I want it to be.
I think I still need to work on my communication and English
I dont have time to update each of my friends separatelly and I feel disconnected from some of them!
I hope my life is more exciting that it seems to be!

days in Rio :)

2008-08-23T12:31:00.002+02:00

Fresh coconut oh yeah

yeyeye extreme happiness we are on this beach in this Rio!!!

love form first sight :)- as usually read from the bottom

2008-08-23T12:20:00.004+02:00

its winter babe- its around 30 degrees and you see things you saw only in movies :)

blue, green and yellow - becoming my favoutire colours and set of them

between Sao Paolo and Brasil :)

in the rush

2008-08-23T12:03:00.001+02:00

In the rush of every day work and in the cultural re-integration shock lastnig more than expected- the one connected with AIESEC Pl not PL as country I gave up this blog totally- why?
One simple excuse for me is the fact that I have MC laptop without card reader and posts without pictures are dead for me:|I don't think it makes sense now to go back in time and write you about first days in MC house, MC Poland conferences- some of them can be read here, the rest was just lost, shit happens, but finally I got good motivation to write back - going abroad and friends needing update. So welcome back my dear readers :D

ideal evening

2008-07-27T23:41:00.001+02:00

SADC and Adrian Mole
yesss
and I woould forget to add - me alone not in the flat but in the room :D
missing such moments in every day routine

holiday

2008-07-27T22:13:00.002+02:00

Dunno if I already wrote about it but... I have holiday - this means few things - 1st that of course I'm trying to do things I didnt have time for - cannot get rid of this feauture of mine. This means soon first Q of my life will be over ... the time is again fast and again in such moments when you finally have time for yourself you reflect wheter you are using it in the proper way.
One of my first descriptions right now would be MC member of AIESEC in Poland - decision that caused a lot of doubts during winter is now sth I would not replace for anything.
This is simply the best choice for me in the moment of life I'm in and the personality i need to stand ;-).
Everyday brings learning and its high time I started catching them so that not to miss the moment.
That's why I will make it in the stupid way of secribing what happened in my life cause it was important.

time for update?

2008-07-26T21:49:00.002+02:00

I thought its high time to start writing again I really missed it.
But obvious before wiritng I decided to read my friends' blogs - this is what I cam across and somehow I think this maybe the topic of the blog for the coming year:
- my place
- my diversity

You Belong in London

You belong in London, but you belong in many cities... Hong Kong, San Francisco, Sidney. You fit in almost anywhere.

And London is diverse and international enough to satisfy many of your tastes. From curry to Shakespeare, London (almost) has it all!

What European City Do You Belong In?

Inconvinient thoughts

2008-06-27T22:05:00.002+02:00

Thoughts of the past months:
What to belive...
Global warming and plastic bags- up to know I thought it is important, was on of those to care about usage of elecrticity, going shooping with own bags, using plastic bags for sth more not to be simple rubbish. but is it worht it? After reading a lot of articles I just realize I dunno which facts about CO2 and plastic bags are true and which are just results of some interests, lobbying etc. I just realized hmmm how easy is to influence this world with some inputs, make impact, make people believe you, but on the other hand how hard it is to choose the proper solutions, the right way...
how hard it is to assess whether sth is white or black:]

the longest break ever

2008-06-27T21:51:00.003+02:00

:/ So actually for more than 2 months my life was... just too neurotic to write about it.
My brain and internal fights in it, intese emotions, tastes, people around made my life internal life of own thoughts rather than reasons for external celebration. So what is happening in the neurotic head- actually for last time in my life I have holiday - next year this time I plan to be about losing my students status. Maybe more appropriate from sitting in Marki would be going on some crazy holiday. At the almost end of my education I realized that besides drinking cheap wines my social experience was very limitted/ I used to sail so many of my summer holiday was spent on sailing, later on hm I was just in luv with not appropraite person and I took one holiday too much to suffer. Later on I find new addiction called AIESEC:]. Sometimes I really feel that I missed sth. Sometimes I regret it. Sometimes Im in such mood as the mood in this week. The mood is titled did I make right choices? Did I shape my life with ambition and fight or with risk averse attitude? how many ppl do know my real face, feelings and direction?

5th of June

2008-06-04T21:20:00.002+02:00

the day of my birthday - actually coming in 2,5 hours still I'm sitting in my super predecessor place and decided to write blog its high time- 571 posts so far and big gap recently so finallt form my 23th birthday and getting older!

http://www.storyofstuff.com/

2008-05-25T20:33:00.001+02:00

http://www.storyofstuff.com/
is life black or white?
for me is pink, still it is good to stop for a minute or 20 and ask yourself few questions.
There are no ultimate answers, but it should discourage you from asking questions!!!
questions are the first step...

farewell party - 1st party ;-)

2008-05-23T19:17:00.002+02:00

The wto biggest and strongest party animals :)

MC 07/08 team :D

2 last/lost months

2008-05-23T19:02:00.002+02:00

I can say undoubtedly that I lost 2 months for this blog. On one hand there is no point coming back, cause I will be always coming back instead of writing about presence.
On another these were extremelly important months that I need to keep in my mind and since I usually foget easily what happens around me it's better to write some update :)
so here it comes.
Last week in Bulgaria happened till 10th of April - I had the opportunity to chair conference - I don't think this is ideal task for me but I had chance to prove mysel. Checking ability to control people, manage their mood, energize them and put in reflection mood. Dunno if I was successful but this was also my last conference with AIESEC in Bulgaria - logistics - I will not comment that but I think I just got used to it. I don't care, I don't mind its just normal - so I've changed for positive or negative- no idea.
It was also interesting to host Dominika :) observing how typical;-) Polish person reacts :) a looot of fun but also a lot of useful support - so although Im extremelly not in touch with my EB and to be honest I dont even read all mails I more than sure that Marki will be full of EB 2006/2007 or kanalie ;-) mood :D.
Last week in BG was also party time, but my papa party was rather calm ;-) and we ended up with Ivo of course discussin AIESEC stuff, drinking wine and ... danding in super club Avenue ;-) but wine was drunk and sunflower seeds were eaten :)

everyday update

2008-05-05T09:11:00.002+02:00

Ok so u know im in very random mood - extreme happiness supported by being pissed off with some people ariund on regular basis- of course ur usually often when people arund represent characteristics u hate in urself or sth, but still all in all i didnt have it in bg at least not so much, but back here in Poland i got to easily distructed so maybe it is also high time to come back to blog, to spend time on reflection, to looking at things from the distance while writing it etc.
Im at home? So I'm in Poland 3 weeks now. What was this time about? mainly getting used to the culture and new role, with a lots of funny but also challenging moments. It was about meeting my friends- but only a few, or maybe the ones tha matters? hmmmm? no idea. It was about getting to know mysefl a lot - how the year can change u but also how some things are strong in you and is extremelly hard to change them. It was/ is about challenging opinion about people you thought you know and those u were sure u dont. It is about missing and about looking forward to. It is about being for one year in poland as mcvp ogxe

what happens around

2008-05-05T08:40:00.002+02:00

yes shit happened
Havent written for ages :/
why?
many reasons for that- canot say lack of time, cause days are not shorter or i cannot say i have so much work or sth.
I just got really emotional, maybe pissed off, maybe too edmanding or maybe classical re-integration shock.
No idea sth is not as it should be?
And of course it is about me cause it cannot be about environment- this is the same for everyone.
So what's up with me?
any ideas?

privacy

2008-04-19T23:59:00.001+02:00

As KRzychoo said- when he goes to sleep he covers himself to the very top of the head- just to have some privacy, i cover myself this way at least whole year...
why?
Do i feel my privacy is missing?
do i really feel confused about my comfrot zone and home? am i really homeless?
im back in my hometown, staying at my home, the only place i dont cove mysefl such way - cause i do it in garage, in BG, on conferences.
But here, here i feel safe, but i dont feel home...
sometimes i feel i need home and stable life, on the other hand im bored after few days... :/
life

Delayed update again...

2008-04-13T14:15:00.002+02:00

So as for Russia - the last stop ST Pete time to remind myself about it cause it was unique.
Basically jst after the conference we went with Anula to Subway enjoyin internet- on the one hand this conference proved me i can live without it, on another that its needed;-)
Too many mails to many random things as well as those important- 2 hours for just catching up and I went to my place to sleep. I had nice Polish host wohoo so we had some conversations but all in all I was tired and just fall asleep- the next day was my last day in st Pete and I wanted to see as match as possible so did i;-)

XPRO

2008-04-02T23:21:00.002+02:00

u know what happened before the conference, so before I write what happened after I shall write sth about the conference?!
I already wrote some texts about people there- but rather known ones, and how about the conference itsefl.
1st- I do learnt a lot and I dont write it cause its official blog :P I write it cause its truth- I refreshed some knowledge about organization, organizational and people behaviours as well as gain new ones.
I got a lot of inspiration and new ideas for my year. And I realized a lot maybe it can be cold maturity and I can be so bold? Or mabe just open mind?
Of course I was Polish so critizing the content and knowledge delivered- but isnt it a pattern or approach?
I met so many amazing people, AI was there and other smart :P people were there and its obvious u cannot deliver session to satisfy people in terms of content not at this level why?
Cause people differ a lot about theoretical knowledge
Cause people at this level dont need so much the theoretical knowledge but ability to be active learner- to seek and find info u need, people from who u can learn to analyze the info u get and use the appropriate one.
Cause ok Im current I was on MC, but I was not working on X, on the other hand I have MCe who were lcvp before - the gap is huge in terms of functional knowledge and perspective- so if u want to deliver knowledge u cannot do that but u can create learning environment for the people and thats all about.
But I also realized that the organizaiton of future of supposed to be current global leaders is passive and risk averse. :(
I dont want to become not myself and will not write thank u to all beautiful people or sth like that still I experienced a lot of inspirational moments and chats, learning points and conclusions Im happy that I was part of the conference and I really believe I can learn and achieve a lot in my future role. Still questions about slow track are in my head, the question about follow up and feeling im facing the wall stays but also there is no question about the role of XPRO and its usage it was amazing event and if u dont know how to use it or if ur back home deep in memories without follow up its ur fault man and u better think about ursefl rather than others...
Cause u had 170 people
ideas
offers
needs
knowledge
gcps
common challenges
and u still miss sth to be successful?
what ?
nobody can give u receipt how to do this so stop waiting and expecting go and ACT!

CEE English, my mummy or whatsoever:D

2008-04-02T17:54:00.003+02:00

So first explanation of the title- if u ask the questions in the structure of sentence and make question by adding yes and not at the end
or if u use statements i dont go somewhere -me too this meand ur fluent user of CEE English :D - and just to show the impact of CEE language- after 1,5 year of living in CEE Gerry also speaks it - which was so much fun on XPRO

And mummy of course because we are so similar :D - so all in all XPRO was cool moment to meet Geri - small Indian with different perspective of the world that kick u out of the comfort zone but also be supportive and helpful when needed, my preddecessor who loves BG and cares a lot about it. Boss of virtual team and CEE challenger:D cannot wait to host her in PL :D and of course go to India but would rather see her staying in Europe just all going for bollywood wedding ;-)
And one more thing - together with Ira- see below they create strategic triangle - imagine that u know two girls - that live and work together and both can be described as ur friends :D believe me can write nove afterwards about female relations and perceptions, top secrets and well known secrets u never know what is known to the third one what not and constantly have fun in typical girlish way of complaining when one pisses u off there is always common point with another :]although there are some strict roles and in terms of having unexpected adventures Gerry is the master :D

XPRO official dinner

2008-04-02T16:39:00.002+02:00

it is the most shitty picture from the night suggesting i really need hairdresser but...simply this person has to be in xpro stories --> I will not write here why due to how many reasons and bla bla u can check older post to verify why is unique and special but simply this person made the conference because of being herself, becasue of enjoying, because of being happy in her way and finally not bother so much about the rest this is the person that pissed me off and i thought that i rather hate her :P just to subconsciously solve it another day? This is the person to whom i can be really honest latelly and seriously can say that i luv her strange isnt it? english word love is much less meaningful still I realized that in the current state its only her cause saying it to the rest of people around {although there are 6 people coming to my head) would bring to many questions. Ok there is one more so maybe Russia has some influence of people;-) cause the 2nd is Just :D
and just to give u maybe this feeling or maybe some fun: I know from whom I shall learn how to wear sunscreen, funny isnt it the bitch of the world;-)

Without doubts person born to be TM :-) able to use strategic approach and shape relations with people, positive and energetic :D

Again with Krzychoo and Araz vel Sara :D AI VP X person who helped me a lot without even doing much ;-) its just sometimes u learn by observing or by listening - yeah sometimes it happen so it happened to me - I felt comfrotable with my freakness aboout X and about excel and tables and graphs :D

Krzychoo - discovery of ITC my new teammate and Mo- Director for CEE still a person to discover;-) but for sure the right person - u think sport shoes doesnt fit they fit cause this term is about speed! about achieving a lot and accelerating so everytime u have to be ready to run :D
Ladies and gentelmen this person will also chair our planning conference :D

Masha the most important bastardino - the one picked me up from the aiport, got the place to sleep take care of the bag- together with Alina the made my stay in Moscow very pleasant and unbeliveble thx girls !

Last but not least- my bastardinos- Facis of ACT, amazing individuals, all different but having the same passion development!!! THX for ACT once again u made it happen!

XPRO

2008-04-02T16:06:00.004+02:00

With BG delegation somehow after being the member of the country it was hard to be member of another, so with Geri of course we had to take the pic, on the other hand I didnt attend any roll call or meeting of AIESEC in Bulgaria I was mainly focusing on X not TMs- still X is also my job in BG but- somehow I have hte feeling that coming back home is easier than going abroad. Maybe because of language - u always understand ur team, maybe becuase u really know the culture and feel like? Dunno.
At another reflection Global Village. Dunno why but I didnt even visit all the stands- maybe becuase it was in the middle of the conference I already knew the people and how many times u can try the same food :D? and taking into consideration I m supposed to fly back home I shouldnt collect the gadgets?
Or maybe cause im generally not so sensitive too beauty? - I admire Ira for this ability to be happy and enjoy maybe its really my destroying energy or im too sceptic? or too demanding - or maybe its all and being polis in addition?! Sometimes I wish I were able to enjoy other cultures, roll call dances as she s but on the other hand if I really want most probably I would - this is just Ira's way and Cebula's way?! I prefered to speak with the people, get some business done;-) walk with my odl friends that i dont know when i will meet etc. So the best part all in all was about coming back - with Geri and Anula decided to try to come back earlier to sleep - didnt manage cause people were back just 30 minutes after us but we spent some Rubles and had fun.
The peak moments:
- the picture of three travelers :D
Sitting in the bus- Geri, me and Anula of course, together with Geri, we treated Anula as our guide - knowing where and how to go - she is in MC of Russia.., but surprise surprise. Anula asking us- girls do u know the name of our hotel:D? I realized it will be fun :D. Anula walking around asking people how to get there - guy in the bookstall thinking she wanted to buy a book and me with Geri laughing and thinking that we will have to contacts Ira- this day was not the day to contact her due to me being pissed off with her;-).
Finally getting the way to Elektryczka Geri believing we will end up in Moscow, asking up about spare names- yeah this is the influence of CEE the Indian native people start forgetting words and using CEE structures
Ventialtion unknown, counting stops in Elektyrczka, catching some Marshrutka to get to the venue - with lack of moeny of Anula and me - eh i love this randomness.

Bulgaria - September...

Picture with Ivan - although it shall be called picture of Polish delegation for me is more picture with Ivan - comparing with the one up- some people stay, some leave, some things change, some stay - or one director two countries;-) totally different way of thinking but the same person, how big can be the change, evolution of revolution? maturity? learnings, fast and furious on the way to growth :)
and also another meeting and another interesting dicussions and inspiration :D

lets write about Russia finally till the end :P

2008-04-02T10:21:00.002+02:00

Goodbye to Moscow- amazing place in which from the very beginning on the one hand I felt extremelly comfrotable, understanding cirilic, knowing where and how to go, loving the subway with network coverage, the feeling of being watched all the time and controlle but in the same time so anonymous cause everything is huge there that one human being is simply small and not important. Nice and warm people somehow hospitable and helpful although of course also normal - being in rush being mad and... as about the train trip--> it was supposed to be safe, the first impression was interesting - no compartments but so what- the place to put ur baggage much safer on the other hand- but it turned out to be extremelly normal life there- with helpful people and nice thingy - ppl loving tea and drinking normal tea but on the other hand ppl who can just rob u - normal life yes? this time fortunatelly wasnt me so Moscow i will come back there agan for sure, I started to work on my Russian and this is destination to add yo my life :D

Kremlin - one of the places when u can really feel why society there is able to wait in the queue to the bus. Cause when u try to cross street in inappropriate place some guard will for sure stop u from doing that - u have only ur area to walk around and thats all - Ordnung muss sein :D

Again self made picture- but from really impressive place:
1st of all charming and really beautiful churches with museums and gardens
2nd of all amazing place due to super facilities such as computers in the rooms - showing the stories of the paintings etc and extremelly nice ladies working there- lovely place!!!

what is in

2008-04-01T22:27:00.002+02:00

updating the blog- much too long
why?
cause too many ppl around closed their blog?
no its not the reason crowd is not cool for it - never
so why?
maybe cause i feel its getting to personal?
too complicated?
maybe too many things may be offensive to somebody?
or maybe too many things can be to controversial?
to hard for people?
where is the borader between the joke and the truth?
why people sometimes seem to know better ?
why sometimes they know ur joking when ur serious?
why why why?!?!?!?!?
when did i become so smart- smart to be independent and self-sufficient? in the same time when i became such idiot...

freak

2008-03-31T22:46:00.002+02:00

Before putting on blog the rest of my Russian adventure short comment - Im freak :D It is not result of any deeper reflection more agreeing with myself and shaping self awareness, thinking of the things I did and do in life, relations with peole, passion for the things i do and love, freakness about environment, information management and some other aspects that drive others crazy, approach to live and beaviours --> im freak but... what doest it mean, what is normal and is being freak good or bad? or maybe neutral cause thats the way we are?!

belief? passion? freak?

2008-03-30T01:25:00.002+01:00

Dunno what is the reason but Im getting pissed off with the war of my aiesec.net and facebook.
Im pissed off with role modelling of mc members and mcps creating groups there, spamming X, promoting conferences?!
You dont like myaiesec.net close it and stop spending money on that? Or maybe u dont like it cause u need to create sth in it life is not so easy anymore and u need to be active... future global leader?!
so i shall add one more freakness of mine sustainability and information management or simply facebook?!
Where is boarder line?!

MoS

2008-03-30T00:26:00.002+01:00

yeye ur from @ u think u know the meaning of the post?! not really.
Some super smart ass also called theory state that the win-win solutions are the best in life... yes in long perspective for sure and this seems to be so obvious. But latelly I have the feeling that my Mos is geting invoice- cause if get it my spending may be refunded from evs... so i struggle and fight and have some adventures some of the recent ones;
Im hungry, the lunch break is short no time to go to the checked place, will exlopre new one, misunderstanding - instead of salad pizza, waiting longer, being late in the office, had to eat meet:/
Today I was supposed to pick up invoice from the place we ate before my going to xpro...and there was no invoice.. I lost - i spent money they lost, cause i will not come there again...and this is life especially in those all post communistic countries, the value of service the approach to it... no comments:(

...

2008-03-30T00:20:00.000+01:00

God save me from my brian and thoughts the rest of the wrld will be easy to manage...

Russian impressions

2008-03-29T08:26:00.003+01:00

My adventure with Russia - all in all a lot of fun and refelctions. From the very beginning when landing in Moscow and realizing that hm it is not as easy as Im used- passport is not enough- some registartion card needs to be filled and ur second category citizen ?! Airport far away rfom the town - now direct connection with the city u need to change subway and bus, taxi - prices higher than in wester Europe so welcome to the wild wild east?!
I was picked up by Masha which made my life easier cause alone I would have felt a little bit lost. Discovering elektryczka, people selling all and nothing in it, shops with cheap and hig prices, seafood and random things, LC Moscow - only one in such big town thx to the person I know... hm so what is growth about?! Asian looking people in the LC although never before have I seen Asian looking person as representatives of LCEB or MC. Impressive venue, russian language all around me, old faces, new faces, being tired, realizing Im Polish when answering Masha's questions in Polish- yeah im Polish i have my own coountry and origin ;-). Waking up travelling with new people who decided to be as nice and stay with me to walk around the town, meeting Alina - realizing the power of network, the meaning of being AIESEC'er, friendship of Masha who can bring my luggage from the venue so I can sightseeing, eating in Mc Donalds 2nd day in a row - where are my bliny;(. Reflecting on the fact that people I know grew up and Im still in AIESEC, without money but with friends?!without love but with passion. Without balance but with adventures.

Summary- everything is huge and there is a lot of monuments :]- everywhere

Typical Russia- didnt manage to take picture in elektryczka or in subway with all those guard etc but this is it- a building - fancy one just in the red square and...nobody knows what is there, u cannot go in but for sure sth is there cause the light is on... :]

Red square, its good to consider red only as a colour isnt it? Somehow I felt like Asian tourist taking picture without any deeper refelction, or having reflection about my future, about reluctance to have home, about willingness to have life as neverchanging @internship to discover more more and more on the other hand realizing how few places I usually see when Im abroad with AIESEC, how few facts I discover about this specific culture but on the other hand how many people from all the cultures I know and can speak with them can taste the world with their eyes and their understanding isnt it amazing?!

Funny - some time agao long queues and lots of people willing to see this dead guy, speciall corridors connecting the grave with subway etc, now- abandoned and negletced picture more for fun... or maybe for question about leadership, needed power to make a change?! or maybe about being mad?!

This is wow for sure, from outside and inside BEAUTIFUL- although I try not to abuse this word;-).

Nothing to add- Moscow, amazing feelng of standing in front of the symbol known from TV, in a country so far but so close... Feeling freezing but also somehow at home, being extremelly happy and impressed, discovering Russia- if you have problems with learning foreing language- either u will decide u dont like country so much and u dont need the language or u will fall in love- Russia I want to meet u again :-)

:)

2008-03-28T18:19:00.000+01:00

Moscow, Russia aaaaa

2008-03-27T17:44:00.003+01:00

Yeah this is what u think about- Moscow amazing experience of almost two weeks called Russia, XPRO and Vienna im empowered, Im crazy Im working, more from home cause I still need to put my place in order;-)

Yeye m big face and other big things such as Kremlin believe me or not but this is what a feeling !!! just being in this place super cool famous place :P

Yeye travelling across the world all the time the same jacket, cup scafr and shoes- how many countries and places ;-)? most probably some of these gadgets will not come back to Poland

U can buy piece of pavement and paint something on it- super cool way to show off or impress your girlfriend, hm wish the love is at least as long-lasting as the pavement

It is said that couples put it for luck, hm sweet :D but I wish more luck to those who put some effort and chose the nice, colourful, rustless I really think you cannot abandon things and just pray for sb to make them for u :P

reflections or dreams?

2008-03-27T15:23:00.002+01:00

So I went to my 2nd XPRO as delegate, with my head full of ideas such as transferring from fast track to extremelly slow track, being old and tired, being pissed off, being disappointed with myself, organization, surrounding, wondering what is my place what is my direction, destination unknown or known without desires and passions and this was the point it happened - XPRO 2008. The event that gave me back passion, belief, desire, or maybe I took it back from all the young people like vampire :D;-) or most probably I just knew why I was there and simply did the best because this is what is all about...

Plovdiv

2008-03-27T12:54:00.004+01:00

So although I thought the same weekend before this was my last weekend in Plovdiv. My second time in Bulgaria, town of lots of memories, town of lots of important people. Town of amazing potential that is not used and maybe the potential that I realised too late. Town of key learning points especially from international point of view- internationals has to be coaches and their term shall start if possible with visit in each lc not only meeting them on conference! The town of getting to know the conference management and others just a town which will forever stay in my mind ;-)

the last isghtseeing point, poor tired guys decided to go with me, but since according to my guide it was worth seeing it we went there. And it was :) But it was also the last place for me to see in Plovdiv, of course u can never say I saw everything but... my stage of experiencing plovdiv can be more guide rather than visitor :D

Destination known - meeting in Plovdiv to find out that destination is shaped;-) next meeting point St Pete. Again conference with Tony :D so for sure this will be amazing conference :D
happy and tired the last day in Plovdiv most probably for a long time, but my love to the town stays so ;-)

small city small country life;-)- read from the bottom again :D

2008-03-27T12:29:00.004+01:00

My conference friend :D and big tree= random :D

Yeye it is Charlie in the background - So am I such a big water freak as I though? Or maybe Im more and more into climbing and walking around the mountains, enjoying the env around :).

Warm, picturesque and relaxing can u imagine better weekend? me not, eh this life-work balance I wish it were permanent state of my life... :D

:D

4 adventure loving people :D 4 AIESEC'ers :D
Do u remember my post about being AIESEC'er? being a host and friend? being really international? being really networking? So I decided that although I extremelly appreciate time on my own latelly with my own directions and destinations, sharing my time with people with different perspectives and point of view can be even more interesting so that's why Saturday ended as day of Chinese-BG-Polish invasion on some cool places in BG:)

airporting - on the way to wild wild east!

2008-03-15T08:51:00.002+01:00

Im on the way to XPRO as usual for me the way is long but as cheap as possible :P
So I spent night on Vienna airport- it was raining and cold and flight was delayed so decided to stay at the airport. Eh it is amazingly cool with infrastructure and just the ok place to stay for night, in addition its connected with the center so im going to sighsee vienna on the way back. It is also amazing how the boardes dissappear and how Prague Bratislava and Vienna are almost one in terms of being able just to go from one to naother with the bust or liners etc. But Im on the way to different reality- getting to know that another people have problems with visa- my friends is spoiling my mood about it and happiness :( I dont know why things happen this way, why some people have power to celebrate and so enthusiastically abuse it :( Do not know this answer and would rather not have to ask this questions again:/

blogging

2008-03-13T21:12:00.000+01:00

Currently I have some problems with access to my blog, no idea why:/
I was trying to upload more pictures from my last weekend adventures and my EVS training but didnt manage. On the other hand I dont feel like writing without pictures, so tomorrow will try once again if not... hm if not I will think what to do but lets be optimistic.

weekending and not weekending :D

2008-03-13T15:21:00.005+01:00

old buildings dunno if i love them or im not impressed anymore

but of course sb had to destroy it- because of being bored or drunk? other possible reasons not known to author of this blog.

Wooden playground for children and some educational stuff

update vol 2:)

2008-03-04T15:28:00.002+01:00

I dont rather go to the churches, is not my place definitelly but on sightseeing list is on the top- i dont know if it is characteristics of Bulgaria of the world heritage but this is something typical - churches on the way :)

:P

KOPRIVSHTICA - fisrt on my route, again taking picture on ur own :P, the town behind and some horse monument:P

Plovdiv- again from the bottom

2008-03-03T23:25:00.003+01:00

in the direction of sun and red and white... going back to Sofia for the week, tbc tomorrow ;-)

Martenica- or rather feeling like in PL- red and white everywhere!;-)

Coming to Plovdiv to see my destination soon - st pete:) yes here Im coming :)Finally tickets booked- with one night in vienna still not knowing what to do that night, a lot of thoughts about xpro itself but im coming

Mosque and Martenica - com and buy stuff - everywhere;-)

way to duner place- awful but u can smell it from the distance and i had to go there;-) didnt think of taking picture of my last plovdiv duner:/ maybe will ask sb else to take one;-)

nice place, nice memories, nice walking around

climbing was a good choice- the view of Plovdiv:)

So as I said I decided to go to Plovdiv, climbing again? why not. My legs were killing me but I decided to take the challenge and see what is this monument about :)

Asenovgrad and Plovdiv- read from the bottom

2008-03-03T22:52:00.003+01:00

The road- as u see not the most pleasent way of getting to the destination on foot

So decided to move into direction of Monaster but after some time I doubted, decided to go back and go with the road but due to heavy traffic it was also not very pleasant and possible and... I went back to Plovdiv :)

picture taken on ur own are nothing special...

It turned out to be a fortress - and this is what is about my two hours of climbing due to going off route etc. A little bit not what I expected but walking in the mountains - 1st spring days, nice weather, fresh air was worth it :)

Sth in the distance -1st thought what is it? this fortress? monastry or nothing??? hm...

So I decided that I want to see the fortress and monastry. According to the map it looked ok - first fortress later monastry and it all can be done within one day - so I went to Plovdvi - another waking up in the morning -6.30 I started waking up earlier during weekends that during working days. Train to Plodviv, managing to switch into one to Avsenogra- no signs for the fortress in the town so choosing direction basing on the map and next big town and... yes I got on track there was some small sing that this is direction of the fortress...

promised pictures

2008-03-03T22:32:00.002+01:00

Boyana- the place of 1st adventure- going there on Saturday to find out that: - entrance if 2 lev which I didnt want to pay cause on Monday is for free - I waited till Monday... and also walking around to find a place and on the way go around historical museum - totally unnecessarily - nothing interesting ;-) and just got tired walking. On Monday managed to see the paintings inside, but pictures were not allowed so no pictures for u. All in all I realized Im not as sensitive to beauty as maybe I should or maybe UNESCO is not any leader of opinion and trend setter for me;-)

bag and backpack- the best place to keep piles of clothes :]

My new super cool way to arrange the place- bag is for keeping hairdryer and others

Weekending :)

2008-03-02T22:42:00.000+01:00

So I decided to have intense weekends- see and do as much as possible. Due to my independence I did have some adventures- not being able to find what I wanted, wkaing up in the morning and spending long hours in the trains, taking pictures of myself, not knowing where Im going but knowing what I want to see etc. First pictures, later on comments about my thoughts- cause u can have a lot of thought when ur with urself!

:D

2008-02-28T22:05:00.000+01:00

Bulgaria – it is definitely not third world odd country and it is not all about that …
Still during this one year I learn – how to live without fridge- today even totally – food can disappeared from window sill and this is called life- so you can buy less or another type of products and fried is not as necessary as you may think. The same for washing machine – comparing the potential costs of water etc blab la is not so much more expensive as long as you are ok with handwashing – so you get ok. Shower without cabin – ok the bathroom is a little bit wet for the person after on the other hand so easy to clean ;-) I have totally different concept of my beloved imagined bath.
Taking into consideration salary – omg there are so many things u spend money only cause u have it…amazing power of consumption almost as power of sleeping of people who as nothing to do. BTW it is amazing how easily people can get used to the life without any hm sense? Yeah somehow sense- like classes 3 times a week for 2 hours, party every evening, eating and sleeping no f* idea what is attractive in it but we are weird as human beings cause we need maybe one week to get used to such life and maybe at least one month to get used to regular waking up in the morning…

Beauty of organization

2008-02-28T21:51:00.001+01:00

Or maybe luck of it. It is not that I lost my faith, or that I think it is not worth. I think it is more than ever, I think it’s extremely worth it when I speak with each single person who went through international eXPerience. In the time of internet and globalization with “everyone speaking English and able to travel easily…” going abroad with @ is just a must do- seeing how people changes. How different is their perception of themselves and world around… believe me you cannot be without it, simply for me you cannot but the question stays à is it beautiful – beloved abused, making me sick world…;-).
Is it beautiful when you need Outgoing Preparation Seminar cause through one-year activity you didn’t meet or met on intern? Is it beautiful cause there are not enough hosts in the LC or in town such as Warsaw and some freaks able to give the bed to strangers even straight after conference? Is it beautiful when in Sofia international, MC member needs to pick up intern from the airport and host in the dormitory? Is it beauty when it is so hard to find hosts before and after conference? Host for MCPs, host for MCs- super leaders of organization developing leaders?
So dear AIESEC member I bet most of the people reading my posts are @cers or still close to it.
Next time when u feel f*** tired and busy when sb asks you for help, for chat, for sharing these precious 2 square meter of your floor and maybe some water… think what is it cultural sensitivity, what do you really know about current world? What do you know about people living in another town what about another continent? Are you proud of your country and culture? Why don’t u feel like promoting it and showing to foreigners? You don’t feel like this? So what do u do to change it? Do you love travelling? So why in the organization connecting high potential people in rapidly growing network members are not able to travel around the world and enjoy hosts who shall have the similar point of view and interest in world issues and developing their @change agent leadership characteristics?
Hm and you super cool developed alumni or supposed to be one… what did u get out of this shit of raising sweets and making phonecalls- ah yes work in some corpo… is it too idealistic to believe that you can have friend around the world and open mind???
Think and again and one more time if you need – are you satisfied with what you are? With what you stand for? So what do you know about other cultures? About other people? Why are you so scared of unknown? Is you value measured by your actions, by leading, by having impact or by direction resulting for the pressure of the crowd ???
The difference between picking up intern and not maybe feeling relaxed and comfortable, or increasing your comfort zone cause you were kicked out of it by person who hasn’t eaten muesli before but has so much balance that you will be never able to get.
The difference between staying in the country and going on internship – money, flat, or knowing your direction, being able to say no to common direction, seeing new perspective letting you not to take care of small stuff…
Living or living?
It’s up to u;-)

Spelling mistakes and others

2008-02-28T21:30:00.001+01:00

As a person with hurry up driver but in the same time claiming to have work-life balance I officially promise to try to limit the number of spelling mistakes in this blog and use commas and other useless from my perspective stuff :)

ctizne of the world

2008-02-28T13:42:00.002+01:00

what does it mean to you?
For me it starts to mean that Im ok wherever Im - I see pros and cons of Poland and Bulgaria Im ok with many things, dont mind the reast- it will be hard for me to find the super cool thing about any other country as well as super thing to complain - of course the second will be easier with my critical approach but... all in all I can adjust everywhere still on my list there is aonly Europe so have this feeling that I need to make the further step. Maybe not now in that very moment but need it. Need to chceck myself and see how it is.
But i feel like find a God or sth to calm and balanced as for me ;-)

tbc

2008-02-27T09:46:00.002+01:00

tbc menas also eating natural yoghurt and other stuff like that;-)
So thats why somehow it sounded like growing up suggesting being totally immature ;-) before but this is also not true cause if i were immature im still ;-) So i rahther say Im balanced but somehow with age u change and im really curious why is it so how is it working etc hmmm... new hobby or new questions or just new reasons for random investigations ;-)
But this is also true and however I cannot totally agree with I;-) for female people - yeah we are also people;-) means having this feeling and emotions when seeing small children and happy couples and other made in bolywood or hollywood stuff :]. So of course however I sometimes seem I also feel into this wow so cute aaae;-) but with of course my own weird realization. :) Yes so cool I wanna have a babe of course still three D and this house and with this super MR X or whosoever but... I dont insist anymore that not now cause Im not ready and need to go to Asia and commit suicade and come back on Earth etc- meaning typical fear of being adult ;-) but Im rather really into whatever happens is the right thing to happen however shitty it was for me one year ago - like on of the biggest bulshits of the world now i think its all in all even smart;-). Cause I still plan to go to Asia like ok now MC later on one internship in India, one in HongKong and maybe still in between somewhere this idea MCP or internship or sth in Africa, but on the other hand if Im to meet MR X on the corner tonight I dont feel this pursuit to travel and go on and go on with being citizen of the world without home with big H. But ... I also dont go around looking for MR X i sit in the bus deep in my books, I dont have much free time and go our running with best friend ipod rather than stretching;-) to meet soem super cute smart ass I dont have acount on any of this helping people who think its too late think even more that its too late and this is only reason for them to create couple etc shits. Im balanced? is it possible? I am. I can go in the mountains for the weekend and just checking mailbox once a day to see whats up. I spend the time in the bus to read some relaxing books. I can go for a walk. I have time to cook and can eat what I want. I can go where I want, wherever... and this is so cool cause also I more and more know where this wherever shall lead to...
I think most of the people are puking at this point of time not reading more but... :D
I also discover why Mr X is not priority in my life - I hate pretending and being not honest and natural and as long as m not fully stating for myslelf - like a job and place to live i feel its not just the moment - why im writing this? cause im so happy im not in spring madnees and all in all that im not getting crazy as some people around seem to

a lot of thoughts and things happening around...

2008-02-26T15:16:00.002+01:00

... so let start with some random thoughts as usually.
Getting older or growing up.
Both titles are not appropriate for content of my head- I think Im getting older - true, but older like omg old aaaaa panic in the air oh i will be older and older and i will die or sth but I feel older cause:
- I really like my own company I dont need people to go for a walk, to restaurant, drink a wine, go to the cinema etc.
I dunno if its only me but one year before i would have needed a company, people around or think only lonely people do so. Maybe it is because with age ur more appreciating urself world around and u do need external appreciation?
So maybe its better to use growing up, but i dont feel i was so f*** childish one year back or sth, but still there is some boarded that I think I passed Im not sure when but it happened.
You know it wen u start eating things you wouldnt eat before like pistachios
tbc

Day of saint buses;-)

2008-02-22T14:35:00.002+01:00

Yeah;-)
In the whole hunt for invoices and bills driving crazy as hell I decided to go to Kaufland for shopping at least having some invoices and maybe making the life at least easier :). All in all managed to get there, went shopping got invoice :D and came back, got a random buss cause i decided that i cannot get lost while I have routes map with me. Didnt only consider one thing... buses stops on the busstop althought the bus number is not visible on the bus stop, so i get off the bus once, nth showing up, got to the same bus till the end, walked around got onto antoher bus - mine but in the wrong direction, got on it again and finally managed all in all faster than being stuck in traffic jam so it seems i quiet have my route ;-)
But... it was not the end of the day :D I had still amazing airport trip ahead with confusion about which terminal to go, getting onto wrong bus in order to get off on the next busstop to switch but... the proper bus stop didnt stop there:] having a walk back to the bus stop, catching the bus which was the last on the day, so running in the airpor lounge to pick up intern, running to the bus luckily catching it and going back ...
this is called exploring the town if u want to call it nicely;-)

welcome party

2008-02-17T19:53:00.001+01:00

So we managed to open wine- with 4 boys, security guars, destroying corckscrew of a girl...
so impossible is nothing but why not to have some fun around;-)

did u know/realize

2008-02-17T09:28:00.002+01:00

that there are lots of our peers- in poalnd or bg not some far far away third wrold country who
dont use skype
dont use facebook
can spend whole day on nasza-klasa.pl?
dont speak english fluently
were abroad still have ardly any independence and ability to be on their own, deal with things on their own
etc....
how much u take life and people around u for granted
and for reliable, representative group of ur society?

2008-02-17T08:43:00.002+01:00

With Olga:) amazing facts- I found a time to go skiing - having sessions, selection process, just dropping from Bulgaria all in all I found time to go skiing :)

In Poland but there was snow :) and I really skied :) had wonderful time :D and lots of discoveries...

First discovery was about Olga or rather current kids in general - what is trendy, what they learn, what are the relations among peers, what their perception of the world is - amazing and for me useful and inspiring, somehow bringing me to the point of realizing some facts and figures about me as that I really love children :P and I would love to work with them in the future.

How many people- parents, teachers really speak with their children? how many explain why they shall do sth not only in term of culture etc, but also for example skiing - that the results will be this and that and this will make ur life easier etc? It was also funn to discover wireless in our place- so close to the skiing area - better tan in Austria:P but also seeing that I go internal wifi card, Ola external and my uncle was using blueconnet - heh generations:). I also had tme for saune and this is a mast have for my house without any doubts!

non aiesec life

2008-02-16T21:18:00.002+01:00

somehow there is some existing - meaning passing all my 7 (not so many but still;-)) exams while being semester in bg:) again not spending as much or as focused time with my family as i planned wanted and should, meeting some old friends and seeing that there are some people really cloe to my hearth and also way of thinking, some not so on both levels but still amazinly important and assessing from time spent with them they are in amount that makes my life satisfactory :)
I had time for ordinary things such as shopping yeah - omg cool clothes;-) semi formal and comfortable i love them still so hard to buy and maintain :P, watching movies- lejdis and asterix - polish movie having a lot of fun aeeeeeeeeee :D
eating home made food - mainly for xmas but also hm using fridge and normal kitchen on the one hand was cool on the other i noticed that they are not as necessary as i used to think, the same for bath and some other things, the one and only - bed aaaaah;-)
and people :D thx for my stay in poland to all that made it special
starting from supper xmas eve with my kanalie and some other, through exploring klimeczek's place and meeting bassion also :)
having gala kanalii and some talks with Radzio and Przemo :)
going... skiing with my uncel and Olga maybe it should be also described in the post???
meeting Pysia and Laska and reazligin that sometimes as a person with my life style im totally odd and on the other hand thet its not me but the world with it frames etc
so sth is odd but all in all discovery for the year 2008 - I m happy person, knowing how to be happy with more amazing people around me that I need and can even give back, being stronger than i thought and much more mature in the same time allowing myself to be lost, random and just live :)

United for Success

2008-02-16T20:56:00.002+01:00

United for success :) MC AIESEC in Poland 08-09
Trust, Role Model, Quality, Cooperation
Here we are achievers of growth, success and achieving with passion and joy:)

So from the left:
Ania Szymkiewicz, current LCP of LC Kielce, nominated for Finance Director, a new person in my network, for sure with lots of similar characteristics especially attitufe towards fluff:)
Joanna Tomkiewicz, LCP of LC Poznan, MCVP ICX - my roommate on TD and much more can be said...;-)unfortuantelly we will not spend this XPRO together but we will spend many more magic moments:)
Krzysztof Piatkowski - vel Krzychoo, current NST communication, to be voted for MCVP communication, the biggest discovery of ITC amazing personality from Rumia - a person to celebrate on beach when we are officaily together :D
Elzbieta Banasiak, current LCP of LC Warszawa SGH, my home LC,MCVP TM - hm what to say, no words would be enough, knowng her from being a newie, honest, full of emotions, passion and joy :)
Partyk Statkiewicz, current MCVP ER, MCP :)a man who believes in magic that we will all make :), a person that u need to get to know better to be able to assess but for sure a person who... can lead a team without conflicts
Chwalislawa Waligora, current NST X, MCVP ER, person who I got to know in summer 2005 not being sure she is real, individual who will sell hairshampoo to bold and can achieve much more as long as she is interested in it.
me :P
Krzysztof Skotnicki-current LCP of LC Lodz, to be voted for MCVP Expansion got to know him on CEEMOS but hm not remember well;-) later on from parties till the morning and sessions from the morning person who can combina work and fun :) but good quality of fun:P

together we can achieve more :) always with energy and enthusiasm
for u :) no matter who ur
potential or current AIESEC member of AIESEC in Poland or other country,
our potetnial or current stakeholder or supporter.
To make ur eXPerience with AIESEC worth it and trully life changing

year in pink house

2008-02-16T20:42:00.002+01:00

so one of the wishes i took from under my pillow came true. After interesting process with some doubts, proving myself in process supported by Deloitte i got it...
Im mcvp of poland for the next term. All in all with some crazy things and questions happening around because im ogx...:)
because of the process - its lenght some things happening around and some things happening this week i was feeling- like around election for vp tm and now thinking of my results, achievements, development and many things i think it was amazing year most probably even better that this one in bg- although i cannot compare it cause its about different development etc but i mean in terms of well being so today im perfectly ok.
Never before were I so happy that i will have opportunity to live and work with these amazing individuals - wszystkimi razem i kazdym z osobna;-) that I will have huge challenge and will be back with my friends and my culture in the same time preparing to going even further in my exploration of the world and hopefully finishin chapter of my life called studying :)
as for this year after 1,5 month - yes are u aware how fast the time flows??? im very very positive about my dreams coming true and things happening around:)

Sitting

2008-02-16T20:38:00.001+01:00

many people decided or not decided but stop blogging.
More or less this also goes for me. why - because i felt that i share maybe too man things here, or cannot be absolutetly sincere- both options are not ok with my character. still lets give a try, i put here a lot of stories and thoguths, pictures that may be not available anywhere else so why not - with a long to do list for weekend I have had lazy saturday and writing here something seems to be the best option:)

update

2008-02-15T09:00:00.002+01:00

so what is happening:
- I realized private dream :-) I'm really happy and everyday even more sure that was a good decision!:-)
Besides I hope to soon pass my exam session - waiting for one:/ with really good grades so maybe distance learning is a solution for me?:) Still need to finish my studies and plan to do it till end of june 2009 - 2 majors, 2 master thesis and sth like 8 subjects ... impossible is nothing and this is sth realy important for me now.
I had also to make some hard decisions and put my needs aside, give up some desires, needs and plans:/.But it all brought me to when Im now - back to BG honestly exercising a lot positvie thinking and approach. Multitasking, patience and stakeholder focus... why ... still dunno if I shall write ;-)
so maybe first I will write about what was happening in PL :D

so Im back

2008-02-12T09:30:00.000+01:00

but i dont have time to write more sorry Even post of Wojdak didnt change my approach ;-)

Black Howk Down

2008-01-22T00:04:00.000+01:00

watching it again
thoughts, crying
so strange
so many questions about irrationa behaviours, decisions or maybe sense of life?
value of friendship?
going to sleep cause my head will explode...

yeah

2008-01-20T10:12:00.001+01:00

too late to appologize,...
so im at home?or basically in poland, already one month, sth like 2 weeks to go, 1 in sweden and going back to bulgaria
totally mixed feelings
a lot of happening, a lot of waiting a lot of questions lack of answers, frustrations, fears, losing direction and shaping new one, i think i waiting till 26th and we will see...
but i know that whatever happens it will be all good

so whats up with me?

2008-01-10T23:10:00.000+01:00

travelling warsaw- ilawa to pass exams and take care of health...
like emergecny stuff or planned one
new glassess, allergies generally yaki yaki :]
exams one passed after crazy trip from kk
the others? we will see
future plan
stopped for a while waiting for the decision abot my life
most probably taking half year off from university
jaybe somethings getting too fast
too overwhelming?
if this year will like january
omg it will be sky rocking :D

so... whats up with ya

2008-01-10T22:57:00.000+01:00

sgh goes to mc... 3 people :D

SGH delegation :)

love and cebulka eh... one year after ;-)

being in poland

2008-01-01T00:59:00.000+01:00

So im more than one week in Poland, more than one week at home? What is home honestly I don’t feel its here – why, cause im in this age? Or feeling or sth that place to be called mine home shall be mine- designed shelter, Im in between – not minding living in backpack on the other hand…

????

2008-01-01T00:48:00.000+01:00

Zamknięta w sobie szukasz ucieczki
Boisz się wyjść, boisz się chcieć
Wiem jak jest trudno strach przezwyciężyć
Na przekór życiu nadawać mu sens

Wszystkim nam brakuje szczęścia
Masz to, na co godzisz się
Każda droga jest łatwiejsza
Gdy widzisz to, co dobre jest

Mam dużo sił, lecz ufać nie będę
Choć dobry los dał co chciałam mieć
Kiedyś dla ciebie byłam diamentem
Zmienił mnie czas, zmieniły mnie łzy

Wszystkim nam brakuje szczęścia
Masz to, na co godzisz się
Każda droga jest łatwiejsza
Gdy widzisz to, co dobre jest

Wszyscy tak pragniemy szczęścia
Masz to, na co godzisz się
Każda droga jest łatwiejsza
Gdy widzisz to, co dobre jest

Wszystkim nam brakuje szczęścia
Masz to, na co godzisz się
Każda droga jest łatwiejsza
Gdy widzę to, co dobre jest

friends

2007-12-26T01:34:00.000+01:00

I love ya people!
R
G
I
J
M
P
D
Z
O
B
S
A
T
I love ya peole, thx for being with me and for me
Your number is impressive

...

2007-12-26T01:20:00.001+01:00

So this is Xmas time for reflection, time around new year for new plans and summing up somehow I wonder is it a place to go so deep in yourself here?
Looking at the amount of people visiting it and complexity of my random personality its not:/
Sorry people I put it on private blog
kisses